Dissecting Conscious Friendship

 

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Peace. Happiness. Health.

To feel them, a journey inwards is the way to go.

I also realise, for many of us, the journey inward is daunting. There is a niggling sense of unsafeness in doing so. 
“What if I can’t find my way back out?”

Understandable.

 

In the “Returning to ourselves – The wisdom of trauma” retreat that I participated in, I learnt from Dr Gabor Maté that “Safety is the presence of connection. It is not a lack of threat”.

That was a big aha moment for me. It explains to me why the quality of my relationships, over quantity, is essential.

Moreover, COVID 19 has made it even more clear to us that to survive and even to thrive this prolonged unpredictable time where everyone in the world is impacted by, connections with others are crucial to lean on.

 

Friendship, adult friendship, grown-up friendship, conscious friendship is a massive asset for us. Are you in it, or several of it?

Let me share something with you.
Out of nowhere a few weeks ago, I experienced a sense of leakage in my energy system. I woke up tired; I ran out of energy during the afternoon and had intense dreams nightly for almost a week.

A string of baseless fear crept up. The thought of “I’m going to be out there homeless, on my own”, swirled around my mind often then. It stressed me out.

Do I have any reason to think that it is going to happen that way? NO!
There is no fact, and there has never been a fact to support that idea, EVER.

Yet, that fear was there. Loud and alive.

A few days sitting with this fear, breathing in and out calmly when it acted out, I realised that this fear is triggered by an elusive threat towards my connections with my family because of prolonged lockdown. The idea of not knowing when I can see my family again (as they are in the US and Australia) brought to the surface a sense of unsafeness that rooted in a deep fear that I have of being out there all alone. It acted out in a big way.

 

It was a call to action. I confided my fear to a couple of close friends. 
Being held with love as I shared, I felt the permission to acknowledge this crippling fear. I could breathe better after, and the anxiety started to move upwards and onwards. My friends didn’t try to fix the situation. They just listened and offered some more time for us to connect until this fear completely dissipates on its own.

I value a strong friendship. Yet, this doesn’t happen by itself. It requires an investment of all kinds to grow it.

 

This podcast episode is dedicated for us to reflect on a conscious friendship – what it is about, what it is not, how it helps us and what we need to invest in to grow it, within ourselves and in the relationship itself.

Sharing their reflections are Julie Grauel, Jourdan Hussein and Constantine Karampatsos.

Through their life journeys, they all realised how valuable friendships are for them and what they learnt how to nurture one.
Enjoy and feel free to share with others.

 

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready to experience a free of charge 30-minute virtual session to declutter your heart.

Inputs, feedback or suggestion for topics – write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #relationshipconflict #consciousconflict #grief #consciousfriendship #consciousrelationship #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Fresh “face” with summer love

Fresh “face” of Uplift My Life Today Podcast

 

 

 

There is something invigorating about summer. 
While it holds an invitation to take time off, it also springs out energy for something…fresher!

As I’m preparing for my summer pause, I thought I’d introduce the new podcast “poster” for my podcast channel.

I started with this channel 2 years ago, in August 2018. It’s been fun, for sure, and filled with so much learning.

I am very grateful for all of you who listen, give feedback, ask questions, and contribute to the content as well.

What I’d like to share this time is the intention behind the podcast, as I don’t believe I’ve shared this here before.

In the journey of transformation, we all are asked to deep dive into ourselves before we can go up and onwards, manifesting what we want.

The journey to deep dive can feel daunting for some, hence the birth of Uplift My Life Today – the podcast. 

This channel is set up as a safe place to do just that, TOGETHER, accompanied by some experts and a familiar voice (that’s me!) to ease it a bit. I bring in topics that help us to go deeper within and upwards as inputs.

With a playful spirit, and supported by a great artist to bring out a concept in my mind and turn it into a fun image, this poster was created. 

 

 

I love it.  What do you think?

Have a great summer and see you in the September Newsletter!
Astuti

Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 26 – No matter what, I belong – Rachelle Furer -Part 3

To be whole and to live this life feeling empowered,
we need to integrate ourselves into our systems.

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Knowing what we know now about how a blind systemic loyalty can burden our lives today, Rachelle Furer is guiding us to delve deeper into some real-case scenarios that create even more imbalances in our system. These imbalances are often being carried down over many generations. We’re going to discuss some of the symptoms and the root causes.

In addition, Rachelle will explain what our role is in our system, how we can contribute to it today, and where to start.

 

About Rachelle Furer:

For more than 40 years, Rachelle has been searching for ways to help others move along their paths with greater ease.

This exploration has encompassed delving into psychology, philosophy, systemic thinking, spiritual practices, metaphysics, a plethora of alternative therapies along with the more practical and pragmatic pursuit of counseling, coaching, facilitation, and teaching.

Now semi-retired to Switzerland, Rachelle remains passionate about personal and leadership development.

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Opening and introduction

01:50      Clusters in our systems that we can choose to bring in or let go: work, politics, economy, education, religions, etc

06:55     What we tend to do out of loyalty to the country system. What we tend to do out of loyalty to the family system.

08:55     Why we inherit our ancestral unresolved situations and wounds. What to do with them.

16:08      What to do when people are missing from the family system, deliberately or otherwise.

22:10      What to do when there are people in the family who are not alive today, such as being aborted, died at childbirth, miscarriages, suicide, etc.

28:32      How to declutter ourselves from what is not ours in the intricate complex systems we belong to

30:27      How adoption impacts the belonging to the systems, along with a real case example.

45:42     How the family system would always attempt to bring the opportunity to bring balance back into the system itself over the generations. How we can contribute and move our system forward. Where to start.

57:48      Closing

 

Inputs, questions, feedback, or suggestion for topics – write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #systemic healing #ancestralhealing #bodycode

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 25 – The ghost in your genes in action – Rachelle Furer -Part 2

To stay sane, we need to maintain the equilibrium between “belonging” and “autonomy” continuously

 

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

To live well PRESENTLY in our life, it is required that we maintain the equilibrium between the belonging to our system (including in it the influences of 7 generations of our ancestors) and our autonomy as an individual in the present generations. 

In this 2nd episode of the 3 parts the “No matter what, I belong” series,  Rachelle Furer is sharing some real cases that show what happens when we allow the unconscious blind loyalty to our systems rules our lives. 

Along with that, she is sharing some tools and approaches to help us maintain the equilibrium between our autonomy as the present generation and our belonging to our systems.

 

About Rachelle Furer:

For more than 40 years, Rachelle has been searching for ways to help others move along their paths with greater ease.

This exploration has encompassed delving into psychology, philosophy, systemic thinking, spiritual practices, metaphysics, a plethora of alternative therapies along with the more practical and pragmatic pursuit of counseling, coaching, facilitation, and teaching.

Now semi-retired to Switzerland, Rachelle remains passionate about personal and leadership development.

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Opening and introduction

02:30     What Blind loyalty towards the systems we belong to looks like, how complex and blended this can be, and how this impacts our lives on a daily basis.

04:30     What happens when we are in conflict or denying our systems.

05:30     We are sane only when we have constant equilibrium between autonomy and belonging to the blended systems.

07:15     Real example when we reject a part of our system.

21:15      What equality concept means and can mean

25:25    How we can become whole within to move on in life feeling empowered. How to maintain an equilibrium of to belong and to be autonomous – suggestion of approach and tools. How blind loyalty to our system can burden us today.

31:05     A real example of how blind loyalty in action and how to change the dynamics to be truthful.

37:45    What it means to belong to a system – your role in it – your contribution and the benefits you can access.

40:05     Real example of how ancestral and systemic traumas happened 20 generations back impact one’s life today (without conscious recollection of the trauma itself).

 

Inputs, questions, feedback, or suggestion for topics – write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #systemic healing #ancestralhealing #bodycode

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 24 – 7 plus 7 equals ME! – Rachelle Furer -Part 1

The ghost in your genes
 

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Not only “The ghost in your genes” is a great documentary from the BBC, but it is also contributing to what I’d like to speak about this time.

Let me ask you first: do you know that all of us carry actively within us the influences of 7 generations of our family system?

 

You’re not alone. I didn’t either.

 

For the past few years, I’ve been digging deeper into understanding why so many of us experience a sense of confusion, disconnection, depletion, dissatisfaction, and discontentment.

 

I had a similar feeling in 2017 shortly after my mother passed away. Tuning in to the sensation that I had, instead of getting an answer, a question of “where do I belong?” arose.

Since then; to search for the answer; I went hunting for clues. Then I reached the topic of Systemic Healing, in particular ancestral healing.

 

WOAH!

 

It felt like I opened a treasure trunk with an endless bottom. It’s VAST!

 

I’ve been learning about this in many ways: a “pilgrimage” into my ancestral home town to reacquaint myself with the Javanese ancient culture, asking my relatives about the history of my family as far as I could, discovered that the stress that caused the higher blood pressure came from inherited wounds (and my health got better after healing), reading books, through my work with my clients, discussions with many people, etc. The learning still continues.

It felt like a continuous journey of collecting puzzle pieces of knowledge and wisdom to integrate.

 

SYSTEM topic is broad, it’s deep, it’s fascinating and it’s REAL!

Moreover, I believe it is something that we all can gain benefit when we understand it, at least to some degree.

 

What I’d love to offer you now is my SUMMER gift of 3 podcast episodes about SYSTEM (and systemic healing) to which all of us a part of and how understanding our relationship with it would lead us to a grounding sense of “No matter what, I belong.”

 

Guided by my beloved mentor, Rachelle Furrer, this 3 parts series is a journey inwards to understand how important it is that we integrate ourselves into our system.

 

Which system? How does it work? What do you mean by integration? What happens when we don’t? How to do that?

 

Yes, all of these questions; and more; accompanied by real examples will be shared to illustrate them.

 

Many of you reading this would probably have lived abroad or maybe even was born or give birth to a child outside of your country of origin. Trust me, you want to listen to this series.

 

As a summary, here is the snippet of each of the episodes:

Part 1 focuses on The System: what composes it, its nature, how it works, how it impacts us (what it means to belong to our system).

Part 2 contains examples and information when unconscious blind loyalty towards our System drives our lives. It also talks deeply about what happens when we deny or are in conflict with our system as well as suggestions on what to do.

Part 3 speaks about the depth of the systems and how it includes the people who are no longer alive. We also discuss what the role of the present generation is and how we can contribute and bring the system forward. Of course, there are some real case examples to be shared.

 

I am so grateful that Rachelle is so generous in allowing me to record her sharing her knowledge, expertise, and wisdom on this topic.

 

 For more than 40 years, Rachelle has been searching for ways to help others move along their paths with greater ease (Thank God for that, as I gained her support when I rose back from burnout).

This exploration has encompassed delving into psychology, philosophy, systemic thinking, spiritual practices, metaphysics, a plethora of alternative therapies along with the more practical and pragmatic pursuit of counseling, coaching, facilitation, and teaching.

Now semi-retired to Switzerland, Rachelle remains passionate about personal and leadership development.

Take your time listening to each of this 🙂

Who knows, the summer holiday may serve you as a fertile time to chat and discover your ancestral stories.

Enjoy and feel free to share with others.

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Opening and introduction

04:14      What a system is. The variety and the nature of clusters that make the system every single one of us belongs to.

11:39       What it means to belong to these systems (a number interconnecting clusters). How this works within us. How our choices to move to different locations than our origins impact our inner world.

17:00     What happens when we’re born in a country outside of our origin. We can never step out of our family system: We carry 7 generations’ influences within us.

18:57     The importance of family and ancestry (the most important cluster within our system). What happens when we deny our ancestry.

20:11     Live demonstration on Astuti’s process to integrate her into one of her systems (Javanese – Indonesian) on a soul level.

24:48   In the modern world where we move around the world, we often forget that we belong to our systems, including ancestry.  To truly feel whole and to have peace within we need to step into our various systems intentionally and consciously.

28:35  How to connect to our systems to energize or when we feel weakened.

39:17  Live show on Astuti process to integrate into her 2nd system (the UK, as she was conceived and born in the UK)

45:00  What it means for the 3rd generation children to belong to their systems and how that is mandatory in order to make them feel whole as an individual on the physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.

49:59  What happens when we deny or in conflict with our systems.

52:00  The role of the current generation, in relation to the past 7 generations.

We didn’t come to earth clean slate!

59:42 Closing 

 

Inputs, questions, feedback, or suggestion for topics – write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #systemic healing #ancestralhealing #bodycode

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Decluttering trapped emotions after divorce or break-up

(Opportunity for a free 30-minute virtual session)

 

It doesn’t matter whether you just come out from a divorce /breakup or have been out of the woods for a while, what I truly want to know is how your heart feels now.

When the idea of starting a new relationship feels heavy on your chest and weighing your body down, this may help you: decluttering negative trapped emotions.
 
Trapped emotions cause pain, self-sabotage, emotional problems, as well as “the heart wall”.

 
The heart wall is an energetic wall surrounding our heart made of trapped emotions. It’s created by the Subconscious mind as a way to protect us from heartaches during stressful emotional events.
 
The problem is that the heart wall disturbs our ability to connect with and experience the feeling of love within us and from others.

Let go your emotional baggage so you can start afresh in your life, now!
 
Ready to liberate yourself from this debilitating situation?
Contact me to arrange your 30-minute (free of charge) Emotion Code VIRTUAL session where I will clear some trapped emotions from your body.

This opportunity is valid until June 30th 2020 and limited to 5 people.
See you soon!

 

Love,

Astuti

Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 23 – Conscious Conflict – Kelly Brandli

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.” – Stephen R. Covey

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

On any given day, this is why relationship; especially romantic, is…. a lot of work. 

It requires efforts to understand each other continuously. Decoding what a person communicates is a life skill that one can always get better at.
Bringing together two (or more) people (each with their own “unique lenses” to see the world) is certainly not for the faint of hearts. 

 

The bottom line is when we say yes to relationship, we’re also saying yes to conflict.

No escape is the theme of 2020. It has enforced us to be more present  in our relationships, with fewer external distractions.

It’s been challenging for many. And it is okay to admit that it is. Facing people carrying a mirror in front of our face all day long is intense.  

Regardless, the situation ultimately presents an opportunity to accelerate your thought process to go for healthier choices. There are many amazing rewards, for sure!
 
The question that I’m raising in this podcast episode is HOW we can get the gift from something so permanent, pervasive and consistent in our relationship, like conflict is. We might as well, right?

Is it easy? Well…. it is do-able, with a good understanding about what is going on when there is a conflict. 

Come on over to join my discussion with Kelly Brändli, a Scientific Dating and Relationship Coach based in Switzerland.

Kelly, a much loved 2nd time guest in this channel (check out her previous episode Conscious Dating) and I are discussing in-depth what conflict is, what leads to it, what happens when it occurs, how to understand your spouse, and some practical tools to face conflict. You’ll also hear her speak about “gridlock” in a conflict, “couple bubble”, “managing Third”, micro cheating and jealousy.

Known as “the Dating After Divorce Coach”, Kelly is also a certified Matchmaker, who helps clients around the globe get back into the dating scene and find love again after divorce.

I’d say Kelly  is… a Love optimist with a strategy.

Hop in, invite your friends and join us!

Love,
Astuti

p.s. Kelly puts together a Conscious Conflict Quick Reference Guide to sum up what we discuss in the episode. Check it out.

 

 

Time stamp:

00:00               Welcome and introduction to Kelly Brändli, Dating and Relationship Coach and Certified Matchmaker, and what we will discuss: Framework to better understand your spouse, what conflict is and tools to implement to help facing conflicts.

05:30               What conflict is and what happens when conflict arises. Why conflict is important in a relationship and what is important to do when it arises. 4 areas that lead to conflicts.

19:45               Helpful technique to express needs in a relationship impactfully – the SSNA model

26:30               Relationship stages and cycle and how conflict plays an important role in it. What can happen when conflicts are not well attended. What can help you to reach the highest stage of the relationship to experience healthy and fulfilling relationship.

36:45               How to help yourself in increasing the chance to have healthier relationship.

38:50               Two types of problems in relationships, what a “gridlock” situation is in a relationship, what happens when gridlock is unresolved and recommendations on what to do when facing one.

43:20               Can all relationships be saved? Three levels of relationships

46:20               Ten disciplines to implement in building and nurturing a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships. A pact that you want to make with yourself to nurture trust in relationship.

53:08               “Couple bubble “concept to keep your relationship sacred and how to create it. Third parties in relationship. What micro-cheating is and what it does to your relationship.

57:20               Jealousy – what it is and how damaging it is in a relationship. Nature of trust.

1:01:00            How to get Conscious Conflict reference guide from this episode and closing.

To get the Conscious Conflict Quick Reference Guide, download it here: http://kellybrandli.com/upliftmylife

To get in touch with Kelly Brändli, connect with her via www.kellybrandli.com

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready experience a free of charge 30-minute virtual session to declutter divorce/break up – related trapped emotions.

Inputs, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #relationshipconflict #consciousconflict #grief #datingafterdivorce #consciousrelationship #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Decluttering the grief-related trapped emotions

Do you feel these as you are experiencing a loss, a grief?

The tensions in your chest, the short breathe, the lump in your throat, the knot in your stomach, the foggy mind, the exhaustion and lethargic feelings in your body, the pain and ache deep in your heart, the fear, the anger, and all other emotions that linger for a long time?

 

 

These are caused by negative energies that are trapped in the body during stressful emotional events.

 

Because the body is made of pure energy, the negative energy of trapped emotions can exert a damaging force on the body, which usually worsens over time.

 

Trapped emotions cause pain, self-sabotage, emotional problems, burnout, all kinds of malfunction and disease, as well as “the heart wall”.

 

The heart wall is an energetic wall surrounding our heart made of trapped emotions. It’s created by the Subconscious mind as a way to protect us from heartaches during stressful emotional events.

 

This wall, however, is not meant to be a permanent part of us. It disturbs our natural ability to heal, to give and receive love and energy.

 

The heart wall also disturbs our ability to listen to our intuition, the most powerful embedded tool within us that serves as the most important GPS in our lives, especially in the time of change and crisis.

 

Let these trapped emotions go!

 

Ready to liberate yourself from this debilitating situation?

Contact me here to arrange your 30-minute (free of charge) Emotion Code VIRTUAL session where I will clear some trapped emotions from your body.

Offer is valid until May 31st 2020.

 

 

See you soon!

Love,

Astuti

Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 22 – Facing Grief – Karin Hagelin

There is no transformation without facing and processing grief

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

This is my conclusion after contemplating decades of my own continuous growth.

I didn’t know this until I faced the grief I had, several actually.

 

Grief happens when we experience a sense of loss, beyond just death: loss of health, relationship, normality, freedom, status, position, job, power, basically anything that you have, you can lose.

 

When you choose to transform yourself, you will go through a grieving phase, for whatever it is you choose to part ways with, including your old self.

 

By now you may realise that I bring up many “heavy” topics into the podcast, like shame, vulnerability, limiting beliefs, dysfunctional relationships, a feeling of inadequacy, achievement addictions, decluttering, letting go, intuition, etc.

These are building blocks, fundamental and important ones, for a healthy and fulfilling life; an UPLIFTED life.

 

We, Go-getters, are driven individuals who really wish to make a positive dent in the world and also in our lives. Yet, the topics above are our blind spots a lot of the time. Grief is another important one.

“I don’t have time to grief”; “I must be strong for my family”; “Suck it up and move on”; “Feeling takes so much energy and time”; “I hate crying”; “I can’t be sad when I am still here”; are just some self-talk we have when facing grief.

 

I said all these and more to myself in the past. I didn’t know what this habit did to me, to my body, to my emotion, to my spirit. Until the sudden passing of my Dad in 2012 became the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 

I was down on my knee feeling unsure how to proceed with my life. My inner body collapsed; my blood pressure went through the roof. That was the beginning of my relationship with understanding and integrating grief in my life.

 

All of you reading this deserve to have the life that you desire and to grow in the way that you wish.

For that, get to know grief and integrate that into your life. It will un-stuck you, your life and your loved ones.

 

In this newest episode, join my conversation with Karin Hagelin on what grief is, how this shows up in your life, what the costs are when you’re not facing it, how to do it and how to support others in grief.

 

Karin was the person who helped me processed mine in 2013.

She is a Life Crisis Coach based in Zurich, Switzerland, who helps people from many countries manage grief, loss and trauma; get relief from stress and anxiety; release unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviour; and heal relationships.

 

 

 

Enjoy this episode, take all in, and share it with everyone you know.

Because… we’re all meant to grow.

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00                   Welcome and introduction

10:15                   What grief is, the symptoms, what is required to face grief, and how we got disconnected from an in-built process to face grief in our cultures.

13:10                   What can trigger grief

19:40                   How grief manifests in our body and our feelings.

23:12                   What happens to our body when we grief.

26:45                   Symptoms to know when to start grieving, when to get help and how to grief together with others.

34:10                   How to support others who experience grief

40:33                   Signs that we are well in processing grief

45:18                   The costs of delaying or not processing grief

49:50                   How to face grief. Emergency tool to overcome unexpected overpowering grief emotion.

55:55                   Resources to use to support a grieving journey.

 

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready experience a free of charge 30-minute virtual session to declutter grief-related trapped emotions.
To get in touch with Karin Hagelin , connect with her via www.karinhagelin.ch
Inputs, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!
#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #grief #onlinegriefsupport #onlinegriefcounselling #onlinestressmanagementsupport #stressandanxietysupportonline #efttappingpractitioner

 

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 21 – Let’s demystify SHAME – Nena Martinez

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Don’t I know it.

In my mind, I almost died to realize it.

This was one of gifts that burnout gave me. Burnout brought out so much shame to the surface that I had to face them one-by-one.

 

I was and still am a Go-getter. There is a difference now, however.

 

Before burn out, Go-getter was my identity. I associated all of my self-worth with how much I achieved and grew. I pushed myself internally so much so that I didn’t need anyone from the outside to remind me to do more. I had a lot of people reminded me to slow down and rest instead.

 

After rising from burnout, I associate a smaller portion of who I am (I would not be honest if I say none) with achievements. I still enjoy learning, digging deep and implementing something new to uplift myself. I also still feel so connected with others when I am useful for them.

 

Yet, I also consciously make an effort to be more compassionate towards myself – to be kinder, more caring, more loving, more forgiving. It is a choice that I make on daily basis. Some days are better than others, which I must admit.

 

This is why I choose to bring SHAME as a topic into this podcast episode.

 

I had to face shame (and guilt) as I went on in my transformation process. It was a daunting journey.

Back then, I experienced how shame held me back from transforming.

These days, I witness how shame impacts my clients in the same way too.

 

When the feeling of stuck arises, usually there is shame underneath it.

If you really want to transform, you need to understand and face shame.

 

In this episode, Nena Martinez; who trained with Dr. Brené Brown in helping others understanding their shame triggers; and I are demystifying what shame is, what breeds it, what will happen when we’re not transmuting shame and also some tips on how to do that. We also discuss how it impacts the way we parent.

 

Based in Monterrey, Mexico, Nena facilitates workshops, consultations, and individual sessions where she explores themes like vulnerability, courage, compassion, shame, values, conscious parenting etc.

Take your time listening to this episode. Download it and keep it with you, as you will want to listen to this a number of times. Remember to share it with others too!
 
And most importantly, in it, you will find some tools to use. If you need further support from either Nena or myself, reach out to us.

 

With love,

Astuti

 

 

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Welcome

04:35     What shame is and how it manifests tangibly in our lives. Is shame that bad?

14:15      Can I still achieve and grow without shame?

20:35      What is Shame Resilience process?

24:30      How secrecy, judgment and silence breeds shame. What can dissolve shame.

26:45      What empathy and sympathy is and how they differ.

30:35      The difference between secret and silence. How we can show up in the best way for others who are sharing secrets.  

33:15     The cost of keeping secrets. What to consider before sharing a secret to others.

40:15      How to stop ourselves from judging.

42:10      Is shame facing influenced by culture? What are the costs of not letting shame go?

48:45      Why do we shame our kids so much as parents? What is parenting?

57:00      What we can be more mindful of when doing the role of parents.

1:01:05   Summary

1:02:15   How to get in touch with Nena Martinez and what support she can do for you.                        

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready to face and let go shame. The first 30 minutes coaching is free of charge.

Inputs, questions, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

To get in touch with Nena Martinez, connect with her here: Facebook, Instagram and LINKEDIN.

 

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #overcominginadequacy #intentionalliving #igniteyou #igniteyourlife #livingvulnerability #vulnerability #shame #guilt

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License