Posts

Membangun kehidupan baru setelah kedukaan beruntun

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Duka cita, apalagi yang beruntun dalam waktu yang singkat, bisa meruntuhkan kehidupan kita.

Mengapa, apa rasanya, dan bagaimana bisa bangkit lagi dan merangkai serta membangun kehidupan yang baru?

 

Fibria Heliani membuka hati dan pikirannya dalam percakapan kami di episode podcast ini.

 

Antara tahun 2012 sampai 2016, kehidupannya mengalami beberapa kejadian yang berat secara beruntun. 

Ayahanda meninggal mendadak, lalu ketika sedang melakukan program S2 di Inggris, Fibria diberi kabar bahwa Ibunda sakit kanker. Segala rencana dan cita-cita yang dimilikinya untuk bekerja di Inggris setelah lulus S2 pudar karena segera pulang ke Indonesia untuk mendampingi Ibu, yang kemudian meninggal di 2016. Tidak lama setelahnya, hubungan percintaan Fibria dengan seseorang pun bubar.

 

Merasa terpuruk dan bingung adalah yang dirasakan Fibria pada saat itu.

Dalam percakapan ini, Fibria merenungkan bagaimana impak dari segala kejadian ini pada dirinya dan bagaimana dia bangkit lagi untuk membangun kehidupan baru yang sekarang.

 

Selamat mendengarkan!

Astuti

 

 

Silakan memberi feedback dan input melalui astuti@upliftmylife.today.

Juga, jika ingin berkonsultasi, silakan membuat janji lewat https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

#grief #risefromgrief #traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

How robust is your gut health?

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Let me confess straight off the bat.

 

I can do so much better in taking care of my body. 
This is my blind spot. It is getting smaller, the spot, but it is still there.

 

Now that it’s out there let’s talk about why Gut Health is the topic of this podcast episode.
Lately, I’ve felt that my energy level has been low. I easily felt lethargic.

 

Yes, we are all in a lot of collective stress in the past year or so. I have been feeling it too.
Changes are being asked of us, fundamental changes. There are days when these are… too much.

 

But I feel there is something more here. And it feels like a pull or an invitation to look within my body. Something needs attention there.

 

After reading many publications about possible sources of lethargic state of being and depletion of energy, it is evident that gut health is crucial for staying vibrant and robust.

 

What is gut health? What happens when it is healthy and unhealthy? What is leaky gut? How this impacts chronic fatigue, chronic stress and who knows what else?
Most importantly, how Functional Medicine can help us improve our health, especially if we have chronic and autoimmune diseases.

 

I am so glad I got to know Mireille Wagner, a Functional Medicine Health Coach based in St. Gallen, Switzerland. Mireille works virtually with her clients to restore function in the body and reverse symptoms of chronic and autoimmune diseases using nutrition and lifestyle changes. See her full bio here.

 

After losing a dear friend to breast cancer, Mireille changed careers and made it her mission to learn about the root cause of disease and help educate others on the early signs and symptoms of chronic and autoimmune disease.

 

In this episode, Mireille leads us to dive into the world of Gut: what Gut health means, what helps it, what disturbs it, what havoc the unhealthy gut can do in our body, and how to help us help our body. She also speaks in-depth about how the connection between mind, body and spirit is the building block of which Functional Medicine works to help us improve our health.

 

After speaking with her for this podcast, I am joining Mireille’s free 7 Day Clean Eating Challenge, which she will start on May 3rd 2021. This is a guided 7 days process to start eliminating food that creates inflammation.

 

I know me. I need to take baby steps on this. You can join me too!

 

If you are ready to start a bigger and deeper process, you may want to consider a 30 Day Reboot (Level 1). Just register on the waitlist. You can add in the “UPLIFT” code for a 10% discount.

In any case, do visit Mireille’s youtube channel, where she speaks in-depth about many different health topics.

 

Let’s do our best together to take care of our body, starting today!

With much love,
Astuti

 

 

Timestamp:

00:00    Welcome.

01:10    What functional medicine and functional medicine coach are in helping people in reversing symptoms of autoimmune and chronic diseases.

11:59     Mireille’s journey into Functional Medicine Health Coaching. How mind, body and spirit connect and impacts our health.

23:10     What does gut health encompass? What is a leaky gut? What happens in the body when there is a leaky gut?

29:50     What we need to do daily to prevent chronic disease or autoimmune diseases.

39:05     How gratitude, thoughts, and connections impact gut health.

48:55     How Mireille helps people in many countries to improve their gut health.

 

Click here to join Mireille’s free 7 Day Clean Eating Challenge, which she will start on May 3rd 2021.
This is a guided 7 days process to start eliminating food that creates inflammation.

Click here to join her 30-day Reboot.  Add in the “UPLIFT” code to get a 10% discount.

Click here to visit Mireille’s youtube channel, where she speaks in-depth about many different health topics.

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

 

#guthealth #leakygut #functionalmedicine #functionalmedicinehealthcoach #traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

The dance between addiction and money stress

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Sometimes, as life happens, we lose sight of why we do what we do.

More often than not, as we take a bit of time to recall why we are so busy doing things, we may discover that the busy-ness is usually to deal with or avoid some stress and fear.

 

Hindsight view is 20/20 – so clear.

Looking back, I could see how the achievement addiction I had correlated with the unconscious belief I had about money. These two fed each other in my subconscious mind in a vicious cycle for years until I experienced burnout.

What a start it was to dismantle these two unconscious forces in my life then.

 

Let me share with you my story.

 

Due to the traumas that I experienced in my birth process and growing up (you could hear more of my story in this episode), my unconscious core need was to secure support and connections to feel safe. This need will continue to stay on until I die, in different degrees and forms.

 

When I was four years old, my father had a severe car accident. We were grateful he didn’t die, yet the close encounter with death impacted our family deeply. Since then, my parents raised me as their first (alive) child with the intention that if anything ever happened to them, I’d be able to take care of my siblings.

 

I grew up fast, consequently. The unconscious strategy that I went for then was to learn as many life skills as possible to save myself and help others attain safety. There was this feeling that I would be safe when everyone was too.

 

Over the years, these life skills became my strengths and, eventually, my personality.

 

I ended up naturally in roles and situations which required me to face crises. Crisis always brings with it an invitation to transform. This continues until today as I feel at home to play a role as an enabler of a transformation. In the past, I did this for organizations. These days I do it for individuals. Such opportunities happened so often in my life, even way before I started to enter the workplace.

 

Up to the end of 2008, I paid a high price in this path, however. I didn’t allow myself to ask for help, and I stretched myself so thin for so long. As I was doing everything to keep “everyone safe”, I put myself last. Thirty-four years of existence doing this led me to burnout in December 2008.

In hindsight, I could see that the achievement addiction I had was my continuous efforts to experience the feeling of safety and connections.

It was shocking to realize it at first. Yet I made peace with it. In that, I made peace with what happened and the choices that I made, consciously and unconsciously.

 

So, how did the money stress fit into this?

Up to the burnout, I had an unconscious habit of sharing what I earned with the people I cared about, especially my parents. This was the same unconscious strategy that I had to feel safe. I shared what I have so everyone can feel “safe”.

 

My parents never asked me to do so. I just did it. They appreciated this although they were very concerned that I didn’t save the money for me. I remembered telling them not to worry about me.

 

The truth was, now that I could see it, the hidden (unconscious) reason why I was not saving enough for myself was that I was very uncomfortable with money as energy. I’d even label it as a fear.

This fear came from what I observed in my extended and immediate family system that became an active unconscious program in my subconscious mind – the beliefs such as “money ruins family”, “money breaks relationships”, “money induces distrust”, etc.

In my subconscious mind, money was a threat to my core needs, which is to attain support and connections with others.

 

Can you see how these unconscious beliefs and programs about money that I had made me feel unsafe?

In the past, whenever I earned money (and making money was never an issue), I felt unsafe. To feel safer, I had to work even more. Work was the primary way to attain a feeling of safety.  This goes on and on and on that, it became a vicious (unconscious) cycle for years.

 

Then burnout happened. It was an invitation to stop, rest and reset. It was an invitation to start over.

I can see how all these are connected.

 

For so long, money was more of a stressor than it was a welcome resource. For a long time, the beliefs I had about money fed the achievement addiction that I had.

 

Thankfully, this has changed since!!

 

And this is what this podcast episode is about.

Ilana JankowitzMy conversation with Ilana Jankowitz, a Certified Mindful Money Coach and NLP Practitioner based in Zurich, Switzerland, is about how our existing money beliefs, habits, and patterns (represented by the Archetypes) contribute to the stress and fear we have.

We are also discussing financial abuse, how addiction and money stress correlates and rooted in the same wound and what needs to be done to change these. Ilana gives us some practical tips and tools to help you be more aware of your existing archetype as the first step in changing your relationship with money.

Ilana helps entrepreneurs look for new opportunities and grow their businesses by showing them how to develop a great relationship with money and set in motion the action steps they need to take to live their true purpose.

 

Enjoy and remember to share it with others.

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Welcome

03:45     Introduction to Ilana Jankowitz of Mindful Money Coaching and her personal story in transforming her limiting money stress, belief, fears and destructive habits.

10:00     The difference between Financial Planner and Mindful Money Coach.

12:46     What archetypes in money coaching mean and what they are. Why it is helpful to know to change your money mindset.

20:30    Example of how the archetypes play out in our money decision. How these archetypes show up in us.

26:05    How (unconscious) guilt sabotages our efforts to change our money mindset.

31:00    Financial abuse – what it is and how it plays out in our life, the inner work to be done to move into a healthier relationship. The common root cause of addiction and money stress and what to do about it.

45:55     Steps to change your money mindset and available supports to help you. Do the Money Mindset free quiz https://www.mindfulmoneycoaching.com/money-type-quiz/.

49:00    Summary of this discussion. How to stay in touch with Ilana Jankowitz.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#moneymindset #moneyhealing #ilanajankowitz #mindfulmoneycoaching  #traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #achievementaddiction #addiction #moneystress #moneymindset#risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo #ancestraltrauma

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Mengisi ulang kalbu dengan “sparks and passion” – Irvan Saputra Masyulhak

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Tiba-tiba di awal tahun 2020 fisik dan mental Irvan Saputra Masyulhak yang biasanya aktif, prima dan sehat menjadi lesu, tidak berenergi dan mati rasa. Yang sangat mengkhawatirkan adalah hal ini berlangsung selama berbulan-bulan. Buat seorang Go-Getter yang punya tendensi untuk selalu mencapai target lebih dari yang diminta, hal ini membuat dirinya dan juga keluarganya sangat khawatir.

 

Percakapan di episode ini adalah refleksi Irvan tentang apa yang terjadi, apa yang dilakukannya untuk keluar dari situasi yang menakutkan ini dan bagaimana kehidupannya berubah drastis semenjak memulai proses transformasi ini.

 

Siapakah Irvan?

Irvan adalah seorang Finance Professional yang saat ini berkarir sebagai CFO di sebuah perusahaan Biotechnolgy di Belanda. Dia berdomisili di kota Utrecht sejak tahun 2012. Awal mula kepindahannya ke Belanda adalah untuk melanjutkan Pendidikan MBA dan juga menemani istrinya yang saat itu ditugaskan sebagai expat dari perusahaannya. 

 

 

Di waktu senggang, Irvan bersama Istri dan seorang putra mereka yang berusia 4 tahun sangat menikmati hiking ke pegunungan, travelling mengunjungi daerah-daerah baru, dan juga baking cake.  

 

 

Keinginan terbesar Irvan adalah untuk membawa pengaruh positif terhadap lingkungan sekitarnya. Untuk mewujudkannya, Irvan sedang menjalani pendidikan sebagai Career Coach dengan tujuan untuk mendukung orang-orang, terutama dari Indonesia, yang mempunyai cita-cita berkarir di dunia Internasional (IG: irvansa_  Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/irvan-saputra-masyulhak-193b66/

 

Selamat mendengarkan,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00   Selamat datang dan pembukaan.

01:55   Masalah dan kendala berat dan tak terduga yang dihadapi oleh Irvan di awal tahun 2020.

10:13   Refleksi akan gejala-gejala yang dialami sebelum tahun 2020.

14:00   Bantuan yang Irvan cari untuk merubah situasi dan kondisinya.

20:23   Hal-hal yang mengejutkan dari proses transformasi Irvan.

26:18   Penemuan mengejutkan mengenai ketakutan yang sangat dalam di alam bawah sadar Irvan yang mempengaruhi cara hidupnya sampai saat itu.

30:44   Bagaimana kehidupan Irvan berubah semenjak menjalankan proses transformasi ini di berbagai aspek kehidupannya – hubungan dengan istri, dengan anak, di perkerjaan, di lingkungan dan dengan dirinya sendiri.

43:35   Input buat siapapun yang ingin melakukan proses transformasi

49:23   Rangkuman dari percakapan ini dan informasi untuk menghubungi Irvan.

 

Silakan memberi feedback dan input melalui astuti@upliftmylife.today.

Juga, jika ingin berkonsultasi, silakan membuat janji lewat https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

 

#traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday

#risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Trauma healing support with essential oils

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

“Astuti, is there anything that I can do to support me throughout this transformation journey?”
 
I get this question regularly.
 
And, I am continuously searching for ways to suggest to my clients.
 
What I’ve learnt about transformation is the following: to experience it, we are to do TWO PARALLEL things – healing the wounds that created unconscious beliefs and programs that are currently running our life AND to strengthen what we would like to experience, right now.

For example, when we’d like to enjoy a fulfilling sense of success (instead of empty success), joy is one of the emotions we would like to experience very often.
 
To do so, in parallel, we are to heal the wounds that created unconscious beliefs and program that block us from FEELING and EXPERIENCING joy AND do something concretely daily that allows you to feel joy. There is endless opportunity for this. I find immense joy in “chatting” with my 27 months old nephew Leo, so every day, I’d Facetime video him even only for a few minutes.
 
I’d recommend my clients take good care of their body, mind and emotion when going through such a transformative process. Drinking enough, moving enough (through sports, dancing, walking, whatever suits them best), doing something creative (singing, writing, drawing, etc.), resting enough, connecting with their loved ones, and consuming enough vitamins and supplements are some of them.
 
Now, I am adding essential oil as a resource for supporting trauma healing, and it is the topic of today’s podcast.
 
I am very excited to host Kari Dunlop in this conversation. Her transformation journey is quite a story.
 
I got to know Kari when I learnt Inherited Family Trauma healing from Mark Wolynn, the author of “It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle”. This training is about accessing family and ancestral traumas that are still impacting us today and compassionately liberate ourselves from it.
 
Kari has been working with Mark for 11 years, and, in addition to practising this healing method herself, she is also coordinating everything that has to do with the training. In one session, she briefly shared how essential oil is beneficial to support trauma healing.
 
Ding… ding… ding!!
 
I immediately got in touch with her, and here we are.
 
Kari Dunlop is a certified functional medicine health coach and wellness junkie specialising in inherited family trauma, based in Calgary, Canada. 
 
It was her own 25-year struggle with a chronic illness that ultimately changed things for her in the best of ways. The proverbial silver lining of her ‘hell-th’ journey was discovering the work of Mark Wolynn, one of the leading experts in the field of inherited family trauma.
 
A former TV producer, Kari now helps people see how the real-life stories of their family histories are unknowingly connected to the challenges they currently struggle with. It didn’t start with us, and the good news is that we can break the generational cycle of these patterns.
 
Kari is also a Martha Beck life coach and a self-professed neuroscience geek obsessed with learning about the brain. Kari has studied with neuroplasticity experts Rick Hanson, Annie Hopper and Lisa Wimberger.  She is also a Young Living essential oil specialist who teaches about the benefits of essential oils on the brain. 
 
“Astuti, what can my parents do to release their fear and anxiety when they’re not willing to get professional help?”
 

To that, I’d say, listen to this episode, as we will discuss how essential oil supports trauma healing, what essential oils to use, and the answer to the above question.

 
Kari is also sharing some resources that I’m listing below.
One of them is a webinar called “All the Feels – The science of your brain, emotions + oils”.
 
See you on the podcast channel and enjoy your exploration on this topic!
 
With love,
Astuti

 

Resources:
To get Young Living Essential Oils – write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today.
Recording of “All the Feels– The Science of your brain, emotions + Oils” webinar. Password: 0ilyG0Odne$s
Resources from Carla Green – a wealth of resource for you to access.
It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn.
Evidence-based Essential Oil Therapy: The Ultimate Guide to the Therapeutic and Clinical Application of Essential Oils by Dr Scott A. Johnson.
Your Brain On Oils: The Undiscovered Science of Essential Oils by Corey Deacon.
The Aroma Freedom Technique: Using Essential Oils to Transform Your Emotions and Realise Your Heart’s Desire by Dr Benjamin Perkus

 

Timestamp:

00:00   Opening

01:15   Meet Kari Dunlop, a Certified Functional Medicine Health Coach -Inherited Family Trauma Practitioner- Young Living essential oil lover and her story to heal her chronic disease that was untreatable for 19 years.

07:43   Scientific study explains what happens to the brain when we’re using an essential oil that accelerates the healing. The Fabulous 4 oils to support trauma healing.

09:48   What development trauma and “Break in the bond” trauma is and how these show up in our lives as adults. How and which essential oils can support our efforts to heal these.

15:38   Protocol and essential oils to support grief or emotionally fragile state.

22:15   The three steps to use essential oil in supporting your healing journey, including neuroplasticity exercises.

26:43   What influences the speed of your body feeling the positive impact of essential oils. Some essential oil expert in following (they are authors and public speakers).

28:40   Can essential oils help people who are not yet willing to heal their traumas with the help of professionals (psychologist, therapists, etc.)?

34:34   What is “Break in the bond” trauma and which oils to use to support its healing—information about Mark Wolynn (www.markwolynn.com).

43:43   How to stay connected with Kari Dunlop and to watch her webinar “All the Feels – the Science of your brain, emotions + oils” (password: 0ilyG0Odne$s). To get Young Living essential oils, reach out to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #essentialoil #essentialoils #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday

#risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

 

Clean beauty and skin care – what it means for us

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

Our skin is the largest organ in our body, and it has several roles, one of them being a protective barrier between our internal body and the external world.

 

I find it fascinating that dermatologists are more accepting of “psychodermatology” field investigating the role of stress and other psychological issues in skin problems. They treat social anxiety, depression and other psychological issues that can arise when people have skin conditions.

Our body, mind, and spirit are indeed fully connected.
How we are is a result of the collaboration of at least three superintelligences within us, and we have a role to play in it. Our choice has a direct impact on them, which results in our wellbeing or disease.

 

This upcoming episode is my conversation with Ale Franco about helping our skin from the outside in.

Clean beauty is a terminology that has been discussed for a few years, and we’ll talk about what it means here; what the “dirty ingredients” are and where and how to find the information. Ale also shares some recipes for home-made healthy skincare products that you can make using essential oils. Essential oils are highly beneficial for all of our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.

Our intention for this episode is to provide you with some information to raise your awareness about skincare so that you can make healthier and better choices for you and your family.

You may remember Ale from her episode about essential oil (episode 29).
Educated as an industrial engineer, Ale has been learning about the regulations and labelling policy around personal care and household products for years that she felt she must share it. Her mission is to help herself and others to make healthier choices for lives.

A Corporate Senior Executive for a retail business based in Mexico City by day, Ale is also a Young Living Independent Distributor. She turned her passion into an alternate professional path a few years ago.

Happy listening and sharing it with others.

 

With love,
Astuti

 

Some reading recommendations:

EWG Skin deep directory

Dirty Ingredients App

Aromatherapy Handbook Beauty, Hair, and Skincare by Erich Keller
Saving Face: The Scent-able Way to Wrinkle-Free Skin by Sabina DeVita

DIY: Beauty – Star Moree and Kari McDermott

www.mywellnesslife.org

 

Timestamp:

00:00    Opening

00:40    Why it is essential to take care of our skin. What clean beauty means. How to find the “dirty ingredients” list.

11:26    Key highlights to regulations within the personal care industry and what it means for us as consumers.

21:00    What to watch out for when selecting Fragrances.

31:00    The importance of knowing how your skin care’s ingredients were sourced.

34:58    What to be careful of when you are using clean beauty products.

36:41    A handful of easy recipes to make your skincare products.

47:57    Books references, summary, and closing. How to get connected with Ale Franco.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#cleanbeauty #essentialoil #essentialoils #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

The root causes of achievement addiction

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

It’s been five years since I started my path as a Subconscious Mind Reprogrammer. Five enriching years of self-growth and growing as a supporter of others.

It’s also been twelve years since the burnout experience that I had.

 

Throughout all these years, I have been diving into the depth of human psyche to understand what the subconscious mind is and how it works.
This underworld is a vast universe, yet as a Piscean, I love it. I accept that I will always be learning about this until my time to leave this earth comes.

 

I started doing this for me, and in the last five years, I started sharing what I’ve learnt along the way through my work with my clients.

Having me as my main stakeholder, I wanted to explain to myself clearly what got me into burnout.
I’ve been gathering many puzzle pieces of answers since 2009. In 2018, another big puzzle piece became clear. I concluded that I had behaviours resembling being addicted to achieve and grow for years before the burnout, obviously at self-care cost.

 

It was a big stamp – addiction, one that I felt very uncomfortable with. Yet, in my heart, I felt there was truth in it.

So, I continued to dive deeper. Shame and guilt were there with me for a while. Mindfully, as I dig deeper, I also continued with my healing journey. The two were inseparable. Over time, the shame and guilt dissipate, self-compassion grew, and I could articulate better what I discovered.

 

In April 2019, I released a podcast episode about achievement addiction.
Many people responded to this. Conversations happened, healing journeys commenced, and state of being transformed.

I’ve learnt a great deal facilitating processes for others, so it is time to share one specific aspect of achievement addiction: the root causes.

 

My friend, Julie Grauel, kindly welcome my invitation to facilitate this reflection. Similarly, we both love to explore the subconscious mind universe.

 

I hope to provide you with a perspective that can help you start your healing journey through self-healing or getting support from others.

 

After we recorded this episode, I continued reading a book by Gabor Maté, MD- In the Realm of HUNGRY GHOSTS – Close encounters with Addiction – and I landed in the following paragraph:

Any passion can become an addiction, but then how to distinguish between the two? The central question is: who’s in charge, the individual or their behaviour? 

It’s possible to rule a passion, but an obsessive passion that a person is unable to rule is an addiction. 

And the addiction is the repeated behaviour that a person keeps engaging in, even though he knows it harms himself or others. How it looks externally is irrelevant. The key issue is a person’s internal relationship to the passion and its related behaviours.

 

I know exactly what he means, and I know now how achievement addiction and passion look and feel differently in my body. When I am in the passion zone, I am at ease with all – growing, achieving, and caring for myself.

 

Take time to listen to this episode. Do it multiple times. There is a lot of reflection here. 
Please share it with others too.

And when you feel you want support transforming your achievement addiction to move into the passion zone, have a chat with me.

 

With love,
Astuti

 

Some reading recommendations:

In the Realm of HUNGRY GHOSTS – Close encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté, MD.
It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. by Mark Wolynn.
The Biology of Beliefs by Bruce H. Lipton PhD.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Emilia Nagoski DMA.

 

 

Timestamp:

00:00:00         Opening

00:01:30          The behaviours of an Achievement addict.

00:08:25          How one becomes an achievement addict. What addiction is and what causes addictive behaviours.

00:17:00          When disconnections that lead to addiction can happen and what they can do to our psyche development.

00:38:30          Why it is difficult to let go of achievement addiction and what needs to happen to help the journey of transforming achievement addiction.

00:42:30          Key steps to get to the roots of achievement addiction.

00:47:30          How ancestral trauma contributes to achievement addiction. Support to consider to let go of the achievement addiction on the subconscious mind level

00:58:20          What feeds achievement addiction.

01:00:00          Fundamental steps to transform achievement addiction, including how Astuti helps her achievement addict clients.

01:08:00          Summary and closing.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#achievementaddiction #gogetter #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

 

Redefining “balance” after series of burnouts: The journey to restart my authentic life

On the surface, things looked perfectly fine. I was a thirty-something single woman, chasing my dream in the premier business hub of Southeast Asia.

As an Indonesian, I have made small and big decisions to chase my dreams and live my life to the fullest. Since I was a kid, I believed that the only way to achieve them is to be unstoppable. It worked quite well until I experienced a series of burnouts that put me in the position of finally restarting my life and redefining “balance”. With the help of Astuti, I have started my healing journey during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

In the past 10 years, I experienced three burnouts – emotionally, mentally and physically.

 

I moved to two different countries for study and work and was in autopilot mode all along. I felt extremely exhausted. It was a totally devastating situation when I could not function at my highest quality. This usually followed with fatigue, demotivation, tiredness and a series of mental breakdown. 

A friend referred me to Astuti a year before I had the courage to speak with her.

As an Indonesian, I understood talking to a therapist would be equal to being abnormal because of the stigmas on mental health. I relied on my best friends, boyfriend and family. However, the situation was far from ideal.

My friends are amazing but they were mostly struggling with their thriving careers, newborns, moving into new houses or building businesses. Though they were always supportive, I could not always call them to tell them how I feel.

My relationship was on the edge because I started projecting my stress onto my boyfriend on a daily basis, accusing him of not understanding my situation and demanding more than he was capable of giving.

My parents are loving and supportive, yet they were not familiar with my situation. They offered their shoulders to cry on and gave some religious and motivational notes. I loved it all but I was not progressing and day by day it became more difficult.

 

I moved on from my first two burnouts by taking a break but I had never truly gotten over it.

I barely understood that there were underlying issues. After experiencing a major burnout that caused me physical pain, I decided to consult with Astuti.

I reached out to her in April 2020, just when the COVID-19 outbreak has made us permanently work from home.

She was compassionate in listening to my issues and taking into consideration that I was not easy to open up and not knowing the root cause of the problem. Fortunately, she understood my social, religious, cultural values and context as an Indonesian, and also was capable of assessing my situation and my unique past experiences.

 

To address the issues, we went ahead with Body Code.

During the sessions, Astuti enabled me to locate and release blocked emotions that caused pain and disease in my body. I really enjoyed the sessions because it made me understand my family system, their traumas – and mine.

The result was amazing; I am at peace, mindful and relaxed. I made exponential progress mentally, and importantly, I feel so much better physically! I did not know that diseases always start in the mind and emotions first before they manifest into physical sickness.

 

The months I was proceeding with my sessions, the COVID-19 situation got worse, and both of my personal and professional plans were put on delay. There were a lot of adjustments on the way we do business due to the new normal. At the same time, I had less interaction with my friends and family due to social distancing. Surprisingly, I become much calmer. I see more positive sides of the challenging situation and feel compassion with myself. 

 

Astuti set up coaching calls in between the first and second treatment to refine my intention and purpose.

This was a very critical moment for me and I really took my time. There was so much wisdom in those moments when I looked into my inner self and questioned all things. I researched, opened my old journals, blogs and checked my family system as well as their traumatic experiences. I eventually observed the interaction between my family and my inner monologue. One of the hardest challenges that I faced was to finally accept myself the way I am without tying that love to any external achievements. 

 

With a refined foundation, Astuti and I went ahead with the Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session as the second phase of the treatment. This session allowed us to deeply analyse my childhood memories and replace my limiting beliefs with positive and uplifting ones.

The result of the hypnosis and recording was above and beyond what I expected from healing. I am not only more connected to my mind, body and soul but I’m also more in tune with my intuition and essence. This also enabled me to become more conscious of my thoughts and body in order to live my life to the fullest. 

 

The inner journey is not over, and the healing itself is a full-time job. I am grateful that I have experienced the burnouts so that I could finally find my own truths. When we unlearn a lot of things about ourselves, we will be granted with the best gift that we are beyond what we think we are. With this new point of view, I am able to redefine balance and restart my journey with a laser focus on authenticity.

Anyone who is pursuing dreams, goals and careers or building their families, yet facing fear and roadblocks should talk to Astuti. Especially during a difficult time such as COVID-19 pandemic. She is compassionate, kind, and intuitive, yet professional and attentive. Mental health is as important as physical health and do not hesitate to seek help!

 

Soraya 

Singapore/Jakarta

 

To hear more details about Soraya’s healing journey, listen to this podcast episode (in Indonesian/English languages)

Let’s talk about boundaries (Part 1)

“How do you do it? How do you keep yourself as composed and energetic after your session with me?”

Asked one of my clients, a week after I facilitated a 2.5 hours RTT (Hypnotherapy) session for him. And he was serious about it.

Indeed, a very good question, and one that I have been asked a lot in the past few years.

So, the topic of today is about boundaries.

Why? Having and maintaining my boundaries are key to keeping my energy and composure during an intense and unpredictable time.

Truthfully, boundaries were a big issue for me too. The lack of them, to be precise. This actually led me to a burnout in 2008. What a profound lesson it was.

In fact, it got me making a lifelong commitment towards myself to do my best to honor this concept called boundaries (it is, after all, a concept. It is not a physical fence we gate ourselves with!).

 

What is a boundary?

Let’s reflect on what is a life without boundaries.

Everyday, we start the day by waking up and getting ready. Soon after, we roll with how the world around us revolves. We “play” according to others’ needs: the deadlines at work, the people to coordinate, the task list that keeps on growing, the tantrum a child throws that morning, etc. etc. etc.

The day continues. Meetings, calls, clients sharing their problems, colleagues asking us to solve their problems, etc. Before we know it, we’re in bed at night exhausted, often unable to recall what has happened, yet feeling somewhat defeated.

Defeated by life or by the events that happen that day.

You are likely lacking a healthy boundary when you feel one or more of these:
• Exhaustion, physically and emotionally;
• Irritated easily, by someone or something, as if there is something wrong, missing, or lacking;
• Unclear, confused and indecisive. Often the following thoughts come to your mind: “I don’t know who I am anymore, I don’t know what I’m doing here, why does this situation keep happening to me?” etc.;
• Anxious, anxious, anxious, as if you are lacking time, energy, resources, or support to do what you want to do;
• Feeling ashamed, as if regardless of what you’re doing, you’ll never come close to what is expected;
• Feeling scared of making mistakes or making a wrong decision;
• Feeling guilty for having a habit of being overly helpful to others that it actually takes too much out of you;
• Feeling overly worried for others’ problems.

 

In my mind, boundary is a concept. It is a guideline created to help us feel safe and comfortable being who we are. I imagine it is like an invisible circle around each of us. Operating from this space helps us stay centered and grounded. My client recognizes it as “composed and energetic”.

This invisible circle helps us to manage how we interact with others and how to handle others’ behaviors when they cross it. Everyone has a unique set of boundaries as it is determined by our personality, values and beliefs.

There are 4 types of boundary:

1. Physical boundary.

Personality, family and cultural upbringing usually influence this. You can sense it quite easily by close observation. Reading body language and facial expressions helps a great deal. Among others, see how people greet each other, how they position each other in a group (how much space is in between them), and how they express themselves through gestures. Honoring this boundary keeps us feeling safe.

2. Mental boundary.

When we interact with others, exchange of thoughts is inevitable.

Paradox to the label, a healthy mental boundary allows you to expand yourself while feeling safe. It enables you to openly share your view, based on your conviction while also accepting that others may disagree with you. You conduct the interaction calmly. When you decide to agree with other’s opinion, you own this opinion as your own, without judgment, especially against yourself. You have a healthy dose of open-mindedness.

Lack of mental boundary makes you build a tendency to always follow others’ opinions without internalizing it. Saying NO is difficult for you.
Another form of lack of this boundary is that you easily become defensive and highly emotional in a discussion. Everything, even little things, can feel like a personal criticism or attack. Yes, being much less grounded and composed.

3. Emotional boundary.

This is about distinguishing your feelings from others and keeping them separate.

A healthy emotional boundary allows you to be present for others without absorbing their feelings. It helps you to be compassionate with others.

When this boundary is robust, you have much more energy to help others. You empower them by being available to listen (with your heart and mind) to them. In essence, you offer a safe space for them to hear themselves.

An unhealthy one often makes you react in a highly charged up way. You tend to blame or attack others or take on guilt or any negative feeling that is not yours. Such situation drains you.

4. Spiritual boundary.

This is about what you believe about God/Source/Higher power/Universe and how you live this in your life.

All of these boundaries combined are useful to have in any situation, both in personal and professional settings.

 

Why boundaries are so important?

We are at our best when we are in flow. What does it mean, being in flow? It is a state of being where the comprehensive systems we have (mind, body, spirit) work together in a natural dance, without us neither over-engineering nor overthinking anything. We often label this state creative, inspired (In-spirit), ingenious, or resourceful.

You don’t tell your body how to breathe. You decide you want to live. Your body, mind and spirit combine do the rest. Your MAIN task is NOT to disturb this so the innate collaboration works smoothly.

See it?

Boundaries help us ensure we’re not blocking our mind, body, or spirit to do what they are meant to do to fulfill our desires. It is as simple as that.

We are the sole key holders of our boundaries. External actions done by others are just triggers to remind us how healthy or unhealthy they are.
Every time we are triggered, it is a sign that we need to do something uplifting to strengthen it.

 

Why is it so challenging to keep boundaries strong at all times?

Firstly, some of us do not have the concept of boundaries in our life.

Secondly, we’re not aware that these boundaries are organic. They are alive, like we are. It is not like the Great Wall of China that stands there for hundreds of years.

We are human, with emotions, and we evolve continuously. As an adult, what is a good boundary today may not be a good one in 6-months time.

We know that our boundaries need upgrading when interacting with others brings more pain than joy. That’s a big clue. Conflict with others is actually useful as it tells us a new boundary needs to be placed. Whilst painful, it’s a tool to help you re-establish what the new boundary is.

The truth is a boundary is something that we develop overtime. We were not born with it.

Babies cry when they feel like it, to communicate what they feel and need at that moment. They really don’t care that the parents are sleeping, even if it is 2:14 AM.

Growing up, we learnt from our immediate environment what kind of boundaries there were. What was right and wrong, accepted and not.

We adopted these standards very early on in our childhood, mostly before 7 years old. We eagerly did that as a way to belong and to ensure that we were loved and taken care of. It was a way to keep us safe and alive.

The most powerful machine in our mind, our subconscious, records everything that we experienced and it found patterns of what was good and not, what was acceptable and not, what was safe and not.

Once these patterns/assumptions are set, our subconscious mind runs and powerfully influences how we behave and responds to the environment around us. Without fail. Until today.

In essence, boundaries are a cocktail of chosen beliefs about ourselves, about others, and about life mixed with our personality.

 

So, how do we create and maintain boundaries with ease?

Here are some important ingredients to a healthy and strong boundary:

1. Accept that you have the right to have a boundary.
This is the foundation. While you are a part of a family unit or a community, you remain your own person.

 

2. Accept your personality and your values as they are.
Embrace that you are an outgoing introvert, for example, and feel at ease with how you recharge your energy. Choose to act in a way that feels aligned with who you are.

 

3. Identify what emotional needs you have in your life right now.

Tony Robbins categorizes 6 human needs that everyone across the globe has in common and we all do all that we can (consciously and/or unconsciously) to meet them:

a) Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure;
b) Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli;
c) Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed;
d) Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something;
e) Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding;
f) Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others.

Take a moment to identify what you need right now.

 

4. Set your intention, based on your needs.

Once you identify which need(s), set a powerful intention for it.

What is an intention?
It is a powerful sentence that captures your deepest desire for and of yourself based on your needs (see step 2 and 3), at a particular point of time.

Here are a couple of examples:

When you want to have more “love” in your life, a possible powerful intention for you would be “I am here to experience love for myself and others” or “I am love” or “I am lovable” or “I am enough”.

When you want to feel more “significant” in your life (feeling recognized, acknowledged, unique, etc.), an intention could be “Through work, I gain clarity of what talents I have” or “I live my life loving and embracing my unique self and talents” or “I embrace opportunities to share my talents” or “I am appreciating and accepting who I am”.

An intention is inward focused.

The intention you choose will bring all kinds of experiences into your life. It also plays a role as an alarm system that goes off when an experience that you DO NOT want enters your life.

 

5. Choose for actions, big and small, that are aligned with your intention, regularly, every day.

What does an intention have to do with your day-to-day life? A whole a lot. Its most important role is to bring you back to your center when the world around you is chaotic and messy.

Whether you realize it or not, your life is filled with decisions. All the time.
How you respond and conduct yourself at any time is a decision point. When you know what you intend to allow being in your life, choices on what to go for become obvious. Much more obvious.

How you bring yourself in dealing with challenging situations at work or in your personal life would be more impactful when they are fueled by the same energy that you wish for yourself. In the examples above, it is from a place of giving love and significance.

Law of physics says action leads to reaction. What you give out is what goes back in.

When you love yourself, how you deal with others, regardless of how challenging the situation can be, will be fuelled with love. This is the REAL BOUNDARY that I am talking about.

A real boundary is the deepest desire you have for what you want in your life leveraging who you are and what you stand for. The other side of this is what you want to filter out from your life.

When you are committed to yourself and your intention, a real boundary is formed. It is an uplifting one. It is easier to let go of your needs to get something from the outside world. It is easier to say NO. It is easier to let go of the needs to be RIGHT over doing what is best for you.

What happens when you face difficulties in any of the steps above? Wait for Part 2 in the next newsletter.

Now, let me let you in on my inner world.

These days, I want more connections (with myself and others), growth and opportunities to contribute.

I decide that my intention is to open myself up for good, love and wisdom, more than I ever experienced, realized and imagined before.

I learnt a profound lesson from the burnout in 2008. I used to believe that I would be accepted and loved only when I over achieved. This was consistent in all areas of my life. I always gave more, even when not asked. My boundary then was the fear for not being loved, for feeling that I was not enough. Of course I did not realise this at the time. I delved deep, asking myself how I drove myself to the point of a burn out. The answer was clear – the unconscious fear was the driver. I had an unhealthy boundary at the time.

I’ve changed my belief since. I commit to my wellbeing over anything else. Since, my boundaries have grown stronger. I make better choices for my life. Not easier, but better. Definitely more often than not. The bottom line is that I feel grateful for my life today and excited about what is to unfold.

This is why facilitating an RTT/Hypnotherapy or a life coaching session or a workshop does not take more energy than it needs. It’s because I am clear of why I am doing it and of my boundaries. I give my best without sacrificing my wellbeing.

Makes sense?

For now, I want to know what are your challenges in keeping your boundaries and what you plan to do about it? Please share in the comment section below.

Looking forward to hear from you and see you again, latest in Part 2!

Yours,
Astuti

Events

Nothing Found

Sorry, no posts matched your criteria