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The dance between addiction and money stress

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Sometimes, as life happens, we lose sight of why we do what we do.

More often than not, as we take a bit of time to recall why we are so busy doing things, we may discover that the busy-ness is usually to deal with or avoid some stress and fear.

 

Hindsight view is 20/20 – so clear.

Looking back, I could see how the achievement addiction I had correlated with the unconscious belief I had about money. These two fed each other in my subconscious mind in a vicious cycle for years until I experienced burnout.

What a start it was to dismantle these two unconscious forces in my life then.

 

Let me share with you my story.

 

Due to the traumas that I experienced in my birth process and growing up (you could hear more of my story in this episode), my unconscious core need was to secure support and connections to feel safe. This need will continue to stay on until I die, in different degrees and forms.

 

When I was four years old, my father had a severe car accident. We were grateful he didn’t die, yet the close encounter with death impacted our family deeply. Since then, my parents raised me as their first (alive) child with the intention that if anything ever happened to them, I’d be able to take care of my siblings.

 

I grew up fast, consequently. The unconscious strategy that I went for then was to learn as many life skills as possible to save myself and help others attain safety. There was this feeling that I would be safe when everyone was too.

 

Over the years, these life skills became my strengths and, eventually, my personality.

 

I ended up naturally in roles and situations which required me to face crises. Crisis always brings with it an invitation to transform. This continues until today as I feel at home to play a role as an enabler of a transformation. In the past, I did this for organizations. These days I do it for individuals. Such opportunities happened so often in my life, even way before I started to enter the workplace.

 

Up to the end of 2008, I paid a high price in this path, however. I didn’t allow myself to ask for help, and I stretched myself so thin for so long. As I was doing everything to keep “everyone safe”, I put myself last. Thirty-four years of existence doing this led me to burnout in December 2008.

In hindsight, I could see that the achievement addiction I had was my continuous efforts to experience the feeling of safety and connections.

It was shocking to realize it at first. Yet I made peace with it. In that, I made peace with what happened and the choices that I made, consciously and unconsciously.

 

So, how did the money stress fit into this?

Up to the burnout, I had an unconscious habit of sharing what I earned with the people I cared about, especially my parents. This was the same unconscious strategy that I had to feel safe. I shared what I have so everyone can feel “safe”.

 

My parents never asked me to do so. I just did it. They appreciated this although they were very concerned that I didn’t save the money for me. I remembered telling them not to worry about me.

 

The truth was, now that I could see it, the hidden (unconscious) reason why I was not saving enough for myself was that I was very uncomfortable with money as energy. I’d even label it as a fear.

This fear came from what I observed in my extended and immediate family system that became an active unconscious program in my subconscious mind – the beliefs such as “money ruins family”, “money breaks relationships”, “money induces distrust”, etc.

In my subconscious mind, money was a threat to my core needs, which is to attain support and connections with others.

 

Can you see how these unconscious beliefs and programs about money that I had made me feel unsafe?

In the past, whenever I earned money (and making money was never an issue), I felt unsafe. To feel safer, I had to work even more. Work was the primary way to attain a feeling of safety.  This goes on and on and on that, it became a vicious (unconscious) cycle for years.

 

Then burnout happened. It was an invitation to stop, rest and reset. It was an invitation to start over.

I can see how all these are connected.

 

For so long, money was more of a stressor than it was a welcome resource. For a long time, the beliefs I had about money fed the achievement addiction that I had.

 

Thankfully, this has changed since!!

 

And this is what this podcast episode is about.

Ilana JankowitzMy conversation with Ilana Jankowitz, a Certified Mindful Money Coach and NLP Practitioner based in Zurich, Switzerland, is about how our existing money beliefs, habits, and patterns (represented by the Archetypes) contribute to the stress and fear we have.

We are also discussing financial abuse, how addiction and money stress correlates and rooted in the same wound and what needs to be done to change these. Ilana gives us some practical tips and tools to help you be more aware of your existing archetype as the first step in changing your relationship with money.

Ilana helps entrepreneurs look for new opportunities and grow their businesses by showing them how to develop a great relationship with money and set in motion the action steps they need to take to live their true purpose.

 

Enjoy and remember to share it with others.

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Welcome

03:45     Introduction to Ilana Jankowitz of Mindful Money Coaching and her personal story in transforming her limiting money stress, belief, fears and destructive habits.

10:00     The difference between Financial Planner and Mindful Money Coach.

12:46     What archetypes in money coaching mean and what they are. Why it is helpful to know to change your money mindset.

20:30    Example of how the archetypes play out in our money decision. How these archetypes show up in us.

26:05    How (unconscious) guilt sabotages our efforts to change our money mindset.

31:00    Financial abuse – what it is and how it plays out in our life, the inner work to be done to move into a healthier relationship. The common root cause of addiction and money stress and what to do about it.

45:55     Steps to change your money mindset and available supports to help you. Do the Money Mindset free quiz https://www.mindfulmoneycoaching.com/money-type-quiz/.

49:00    Summary of this discussion. How to stay in touch with Ilana Jankowitz.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#moneymindset #moneyhealing #ilanajankowitz #mindfulmoneycoaching  #traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #achievementaddiction #addiction #moneystress #moneymindset#risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo #ancestraltrauma

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Mengisi ulang kalbu dengan “sparks and passion” – Irvan Saputra Masyulhak

 


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Tiba-tiba di awal tahun 2020 fisik dan mental Irvan Saputra Masyulhak yang biasanya aktif, prima dan sehat menjadi lesu, tidak berenergi dan mati rasa. Yang sangat mengkhawatirkan adalah hal ini berlangsung selama berbulan-bulan. Buat seorang Go-Getter yang punya tendensi untuk selalu mencapai target lebih dari yang diminta, hal ini membuat dirinya dan juga keluarganya sangat khawatir.

 

Percakapan di episode ini adalah refleksi Irvan tentang apa yang terjadi, apa yang dilakukannya untuk keluar dari situasi yang menakutkan ini dan bagaimana kehidupannya berubah drastis semenjak memulai proses transformasi ini.

 

Siapakah Irvan?

Irvan adalah seorang Finance Professional yang saat ini berkarir sebagai CFO di sebuah perusahaan Biotechnolgy di Belanda. Dia berdomisili di kota Utrecht sejak tahun 2012. Awal mula kepindahannya ke Belanda adalah untuk melanjutkan Pendidikan MBA dan juga menemani istrinya yang saat itu ditugaskan sebagai expat dari perusahaannya. 

 

 

Di waktu senggang, Irvan bersama Istri dan seorang putra mereka yang berusia 4 tahun sangat menikmati hiking ke pegunungan, travelling mengunjungi daerah-daerah baru, dan juga baking cake.  

 

 

Keinginan terbesar Irvan adalah untuk membawa pengaruh positif terhadap lingkungan sekitarnya. Untuk mewujudkannya, Irvan sedang menjalani pendidikan sebagai Career Coach dengan tujuan untuk mendukung orang-orang, terutama dari Indonesia, yang mempunyai cita-cita berkarir di dunia Internasional (IG: irvansa_  Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/irvan-saputra-masyulhak-193b66/

 

Selamat mendengarkan,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00   Selamat datang dan pembukaan.

01:55   Masalah dan kendala berat dan tak terduga yang dihadapi oleh Irvan di awal tahun 2020.

10:13   Refleksi akan gejala-gejala yang dialami sebelum tahun 2020.

14:00   Bantuan yang Irvan cari untuk merubah situasi dan kondisinya.

20:23   Hal-hal yang mengejutkan dari proses transformasi Irvan.

26:18   Penemuan mengejutkan mengenai ketakutan yang sangat dalam di alam bawah sadar Irvan yang mempengaruhi cara hidupnya sampai saat itu.

30:44   Bagaimana kehidupan Irvan berubah semenjak menjalankan proses transformasi ini di berbagai aspek kehidupannya – hubungan dengan istri, dengan anak, di perkerjaan, di lingkungan dan dengan dirinya sendiri.

43:35   Input buat siapapun yang ingin melakukan proses transformasi

49:23   Rangkuman dari percakapan ini dan informasi untuk menghubungi Irvan.

 

Silakan memberi feedback dan input melalui astuti@upliftmylife.today.

Juga, jika ingin berkonsultasi, silakan membuat janji lewat https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

 

#traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday

#risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Trauma healing support with essential oils

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

“Astuti, is there anything that I can do to support me throughout this transformation journey?”
 
I get this question regularly.
 
And, I am continuously searching for ways to suggest to my clients.
 
What I’ve learnt about transformation is the following: to experience it, we are to do TWO PARALLEL things – healing the wounds that created unconscious beliefs and programs that are currently running our life AND to strengthen what we would like to experience, right now.

For example, when we’d like to enjoy a fulfilling sense of success (instead of empty success), joy is one of the emotions we would like to experience very often.
 
To do so, in parallel, we are to heal the wounds that created unconscious beliefs and program that block us from FEELING and EXPERIENCING joy AND do something concretely daily that allows you to feel joy. There is endless opportunity for this. I find immense joy in “chatting” with my 27 months old nephew Leo, so every day, I’d Facetime video him even only for a few minutes.
 
I’d recommend my clients take good care of their body, mind and emotion when going through such a transformative process. Drinking enough, moving enough (through sports, dancing, walking, whatever suits them best), doing something creative (singing, writing, drawing, etc.), resting enough, connecting with their loved ones, and consuming enough vitamins and supplements are some of them.
 
Now, I am adding essential oil as a resource for supporting trauma healing, and it is the topic of today’s podcast.
 
I am very excited to host Kari Dunlop in this conversation. Her transformation journey is quite a story.
 
I got to know Kari when I learnt Inherited Family Trauma healing from Mark Wolynn, the author of “It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle”. This training is about accessing family and ancestral traumas that are still impacting us today and compassionately liberate ourselves from it.
 
Kari has been working with Mark for 11 years, and, in addition to practising this healing method herself, she is also coordinating everything that has to do with the training. In one session, she briefly shared how essential oil is beneficial to support trauma healing.
 
Ding… ding… ding!!
 
I immediately got in touch with her, and here we are.
 
Kari Dunlop is a certified functional medicine health coach and wellness junkie specialising in inherited family trauma, based in Calgary, Canada. 
 
It was her own 25-year struggle with a chronic illness that ultimately changed things for her in the best of ways. The proverbial silver lining of her ‘hell-th’ journey was discovering the work of Mark Wolynn, one of the leading experts in the field of inherited family trauma.
 
A former TV producer, Kari now helps people see how the real-life stories of their family histories are unknowingly connected to the challenges they currently struggle with. It didn’t start with us, and the good news is that we can break the generational cycle of these patterns.
 
Kari is also a Martha Beck life coach and a self-professed neuroscience geek obsessed with learning about the brain. Kari has studied with neuroplasticity experts Rick Hanson, Annie Hopper and Lisa Wimberger.  She is also a Young Living essential oil specialist who teaches about the benefits of essential oils on the brain. 
 
“Astuti, what can my parents do to release their fear and anxiety when they’re not willing to get professional help?”
 

To that, I’d say, listen to this episode, as we will discuss how essential oil supports trauma healing, what essential oils to use, and the answer to the above question.

 
Kari is also sharing some resources that I’m listing below.
One of them is a webinar called “All the Feels – The science of your brain, emotions + oils”.
 
See you on the podcast channel and enjoy your exploration on this topic!
 
With love,
Astuti

 

Resources:
To get Young Living Essential Oils – write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today.
Recording of “All the Feels– The Science of your brain, emotions + Oils” webinar. Password: 0ilyG0Odne$s
Resources from Carla Green – a wealth of resource for you to access.
It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn.
Evidence-based Essential Oil Therapy: The Ultimate Guide to the Therapeutic and Clinical Application of Essential Oils by Dr Scott A. Johnson.
Your Brain On Oils: The Undiscovered Science of Essential Oils by Corey Deacon.
The Aroma Freedom Technique: Using Essential Oils to Transform Your Emotions and Realise Your Heart’s Desire by Dr Benjamin Perkus

 

Timestamp:

00:00   Opening

01:15   Meet Kari Dunlop, a Certified Functional Medicine Health Coach -Inherited Family Trauma Practitioner- Young Living essential oil lover and her story to heal her chronic disease that was untreatable for 19 years.

07:43   Scientific study explains what happens to the brain when we’re using an essential oil that accelerates the healing. The Fabulous 4 oils to support trauma healing.

09:48   What development trauma and “Break in the bond” trauma is and how these show up in our lives as adults. How and which essential oils can support our efforts to heal these.

15:38   Protocol and essential oils to support grief or emotionally fragile state.

22:15   The three steps to use essential oil in supporting your healing journey, including neuroplasticity exercises.

26:43   What influences the speed of your body feeling the positive impact of essential oils. Some essential oil expert in following (they are authors and public speakers).

28:40   Can essential oils help people who are not yet willing to heal their traumas with the help of professionals (psychologist, therapists, etc.)?

34:34   What is “Break in the bond” trauma and which oils to use to support its healing—information about Mark Wolynn (www.markwolynn.com).

43:43   How to stay connected with Kari Dunlop and to watch her webinar “All the Feels – the Science of your brain, emotions + oils” (password: 0ilyG0Odne$s). To get Young Living essential oils, reach out to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#traumahealing #inheritedfamilytraumahealing #breakinthebond #developmentaltrauma #essentialoil #essentialoils #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday

#risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

 

Clean beauty and skin care – what it means for us

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

Our skin is the largest organ in our body, and it has several roles, one of them being a protective barrier between our internal body and the external world.

 

I find it fascinating that dermatologists are more accepting of “psychodermatology” field investigating the role of stress and other psychological issues in skin problems. They treat social anxiety, depression and other psychological issues that can arise when people have skin conditions.

Our body, mind, and spirit are indeed fully connected.
How we are is a result of the collaboration of at least three superintelligences within us, and we have a role to play in it. Our choice has a direct impact on them, which results in our wellbeing or disease.

 

This upcoming episode is my conversation with Ale Franco about helping our skin from the outside in.

Clean beauty is a terminology that has been discussed for a few years, and we’ll talk about what it means here; what the “dirty ingredients” are and where and how to find the information. Ale also shares some recipes for home-made healthy skincare products that you can make using essential oils. Essential oils are highly beneficial for all of our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.

Our intention for this episode is to provide you with some information to raise your awareness about skincare so that you can make healthier and better choices for you and your family.

You may remember Ale from her episode about essential oil (episode 29).
Educated as an industrial engineer, Ale has been learning about the regulations and labelling policy around personal care and household products for years that she felt she must share it. Her mission is to help herself and others to make healthier choices for lives.

A Corporate Senior Executive for a retail business based in Mexico City by day, Ale is also a Young Living Independent Distributor. She turned her passion into an alternate professional path a few years ago.

Happy listening and sharing it with others.

 

With love,
Astuti

 

Some reading recommendations:

EWG Skin deep directory

Dirty Ingredients App

Aromatherapy Handbook Beauty, Hair, and Skincare by Erich Keller
Saving Face: The Scent-able Way to Wrinkle-Free Skin by Sabina DeVita

DIY: Beauty – Star Moree and Kari McDermott

www.mywellnesslife.org

 

Timestamp:

00:00    Opening

00:40    Why it is essential to take care of our skin. What clean beauty means. How to find the “dirty ingredients” list.

11:26    Key highlights to regulations within the personal care industry and what it means for us as consumers.

21:00    What to watch out for when selecting Fragrances.

31:00    The importance of knowing how your skin care’s ingredients were sourced.

34:58    What to be careful of when you are using clean beauty products.

36:41    A handful of easy recipes to make your skincare products.

47:57    Books references, summary, and closing. How to get connected with Ale Franco.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#cleanbeauty #essentialoil #essentialoils #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

The root causes of achievement addiction

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

It’s been five years since I started my path as a Subconscious Mind Reprogrammer. Five enriching years of self-growth and growing as a supporter of others.

It’s also been twelve years since the burnout experience that I had.

 

Throughout all these years, I have been diving into the depth of human psyche to understand what the subconscious mind is and how it works.
This underworld is a vast universe, yet as a Piscean, I love it. I accept that I will always be learning about this until my time to leave this earth comes.

 

I started doing this for me, and in the last five years, I started sharing what I’ve learnt along the way through my work with my clients.

Having me as my main stakeholder, I wanted to explain to myself clearly what got me into burnout.
I’ve been gathering many puzzle pieces of answers since 2009. In 2018, another big puzzle piece became clear. I concluded that I had behaviours resembling being addicted to achieve and grow for years before the burnout, obviously at self-care cost.

 

It was a big stamp – addiction, one that I felt very uncomfortable with. Yet, in my heart, I felt there was truth in it.

So, I continued to dive deeper. Shame and guilt were there with me for a while. Mindfully, as I dig deeper, I also continued with my healing journey. The two were inseparable. Over time, the shame and guilt dissipate, self-compassion grew, and I could articulate better what I discovered.

 

In April 2019, I released a podcast episode about achievement addiction.
Many people responded to this. Conversations happened, healing journeys commenced, and state of being transformed.

I’ve learnt a great deal facilitating processes for others, so it is time to share one specific aspect of achievement addiction: the root causes.

 

My friend, Julie Grauel, kindly welcome my invitation to facilitate this reflection. Similarly, we both love to explore the subconscious mind universe.

 

I hope to provide you with a perspective that can help you start your healing journey through self-healing or getting support from others.

 

After we recorded this episode, I continued reading a book by Gabor Maté, MD- In the Realm of HUNGRY GHOSTS – Close encounters with Addiction – and I landed in the following paragraph:

Any passion can become an addiction, but then how to distinguish between the two? The central question is: who’s in charge, the individual or their behaviour? 

It’s possible to rule a passion, but an obsessive passion that a person is unable to rule is an addiction. 

And the addiction is the repeated behaviour that a person keeps engaging in, even though he knows it harms himself or others. How it looks externally is irrelevant. The key issue is a person’s internal relationship to the passion and its related behaviours.

 

I know exactly what he means, and I know now how achievement addiction and passion look and feel differently in my body. When I am in the passion zone, I am at ease with all – growing, achieving, and caring for myself.

 

Take time to listen to this episode. Do it multiple times. There is a lot of reflection here. 
Please share it with others too.

And when you feel you want support transforming your achievement addiction to move into the passion zone, have a chat with me.

 

With love,
Astuti

 

Some reading recommendations:

In the Realm of HUNGRY GHOSTS – Close encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté, MD.
It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. by Mark Wolynn.
The Biology of Beliefs by Bruce H. Lipton PhD.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Emilia Nagoski DMA.

 

 

Timestamp:

00:00:00         Opening

00:01:30          The behaviours of an Achievement addict.

00:08:25          How one becomes an achievement addict. What addiction is and what causes addictive behaviours.

00:17:00          When disconnections that lead to addiction can happen and what they can do to our psyche development.

00:38:30          Why it is difficult to let go of achievement addiction and what needs to happen to help the journey of transforming achievement addiction.

00:42:30          Key steps to get to the roots of achievement addiction.

00:47:30          How ancestral trauma contributes to achievement addiction. Support to consider to let go of the achievement addiction on the subconscious mind level

00:58:20          What feeds achievement addiction.

01:00:00          Fundamental steps to transform achievement addiction, including how Astuti helps her achievement addict clients.

01:08:00          Summary and closing.

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at astuti@upliftmylife.today for input, feedback and suggestions. Thank you!

 

#achievementaddiction #gogetter #burnout #mentalhealth #upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #selflove #selfcare #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode #inheritedfamilytrauma #astutimartosudirdjo

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License