Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 23 – Conscious Conflict – Kelly Brandli

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.” – Stephen R. Covey


(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)


On any given day, this is why relationship; especially romantic, is…. a lot of work. 

It requires efforts to understand each other continuously. Decoding what a person communicates is a life skill that one can always get better at.
Bringing together two (or more) people (each with their own “unique lenses” to see the world) is certainly not for the faint of hearts. 


The bottom line is when we say yes to relationship, we’re also saying yes to conflict.

No escape is the theme of 2020. It has enforced us to be more present  in our relationships, with fewer external distractions.

It’s been challenging for many. And it is okay to admit that it is. Facing people carrying a mirror in front of our face all day long is intense.  

Regardless, the situation ultimately presents an opportunity to accelerate your thought process to go for healthier choices. There are many amazing rewards, for sure!
The question that I’m raising in this podcast episode is HOW we can get the gift from something so permanent, pervasive and consistent in our relationship, like conflict is. We might as well, right?

Is it easy? Well…. it is do-able, with a good understanding about what is going on when there is a conflict. 

Come on over to join my discussion with Kelly Brändli, a Scientific Dating and Relationship Coach based in Switzerland.

Kelly, a much loved 2nd time guest in this channel (check out her previous episode Conscious Dating) and I are discussing in-depth what conflict is, what leads to it, what happens when it occurs, how to understand your spouse, and some practical tools to face conflict. You’ll also hear her speak about “gridlock” in a conflict, “couple bubble”, “managing Third”, micro cheating and jealousy.

Known as “the Dating After Divorce Coach”, Kelly is also a certified Matchmaker, who helps clients around the globe get back into the dating scene and find love again after divorce.

I’d say Kelly  is… a Love optimist with a strategy.

Hop in, invite your friends and join us!


p.s. Kelly puts together a Conscious Conflict Quick Reference Guide to sum up what we discuss in the episode. Check it out.



Time stamp:

00:00               Welcome and introduction to Kelly Brändli, Dating and Relationship Coach and Certified Matchmaker, and what we will discuss: Framework to better understand your spouse, what conflict is and tools to implement to help facing conflicts.

05:30               What conflict is and what happens when conflict arises. Why conflict is important in a relationship and what is important to do when it arises. 4 areas that lead to conflicts.

19:45               Helpful technique to express needs in a relationship impactfully – the SSNA model

26:30               Relationship stages and cycle and how conflict plays an important role in it. What can happen when conflicts are not well attended. What can help you to reach the highest stage of the relationship to experience healthy and fulfilling relationship.

36:45               How to help yourself in increasing the chance to have healthier relationship.

38:50               Two types of problems in relationships, what a “gridlock” situation is in a relationship, what happens when gridlock is unresolved and recommendations on what to do when facing one.

43:20               Can all relationships be saved? Three levels of relationships

46:20               Ten disciplines to implement in building and nurturing a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships. A pact that you want to make with yourself to nurture trust in relationship.

53:08               “Couple bubble “concept to keep your relationship sacred and how to create it. Third parties in relationship. What micro-cheating is and what it does to your relationship.

57:20               Jealousy – what it is and how damaging it is in a relationship. Nature of trust.

1:01:00            How to get Conscious Conflict reference guide from this episode and closing.

To get the Conscious Conflict Quick Reference Guide, download it here: http://kellybrandli.com/upliftmylife

To get in touch with Kelly Brändli, connect with her via www.kellybrandli.com

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready experience a free of charge 30-minute virtual session to declutter divorce/break up – related trapped emotions.

Inputs, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #relationshipconflict #consciousconflict #grief #datingafterdivorce #consciousrelationship #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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