To Love Without Holding

A reflection on loving deeply, freely, and without grip

You’re here because you feel the pain.
Your heart is carrying something it doesn’t know where to place.
It’s not that love is absent, it’s that love has become heavy.

Somewhere between presence and distance, your heart opened, but your life didn’t know how to hold what poured through.

Maybe the bond is undeniable but the form is unclear.
Maybe the love feels real but the future feels impossible.
Maybe they still linger in your field, but not in your arms.

And now you ask:
“How do I stay true to this love without betraying myself?”

You are not alone.

This transmission is for the ones who have known soul-deep love – the kind that moves before the relationship does.
The kind that opens timelines, collapses logic, and pierces through old identities.

But it is also for the ones who are learning how to stay free while loving someone they cannot hold.

Here is the truth:
You can love someone deeply and still let go of the grip.

Not because the love is gone but because the holding was never the love.
The holding was the fear of losing it.

What I share here is my story and also a mirror for yours.

Let the parts that resonate speak to you.
Let the rest return to the ether through your breath.

Like many of you, I’ve walked this path.
The one where my heart opened before the “we” could.
Where the connection felt ancient but the reality remained undefined.
Where my love felt true but I didn’t know how to hold it without also holding myself hostage.

At first, I thought I had to let go of the love.
I believed staying open would only lead to pain.
I thought the only way to be free was to stop caring.

But then I got woken up:
My soul was never asking me to stop loving.
To stop loving would have meant abandoning myself too.

What it asked was simpler… and harder:
Let go of the grip.

The ultimate truth is:

Love doesn’t bind.
Attachment does.

Most of what we call “love” in this world is tangled in invisible contracts:
• “If you stay, I am worthy”
• “If you choose me, I am lovable”
• “If this works out, I will finally feel safe”

When these contracts run beneath the surface, love becomes efforting.
We chase signs.
We negotiate timing.
We grip a version of ourselves that feels more desirable… more wanted.

And… we call it devotion. But really, it is fear.

We hold love in a closed fist and wonder why it cannot breathe.

Here is the remembrance:

Real love does not need to be held.
It needs to be honored.
It needs to be lived.
It needs to be free.

As I understood this, I chose something different:

I chose to stay in love without needing it to look a certain way.
I chose to keep my heart open without collapsing into longing.
I chose to let love refine me instead of letting it define me.

And in that space, I discovered the truest kind of devotion: not the one that waits,
but the one that becomes.

Here’s what that shift looked like:
• I stopped scanning for signs and started rebuilding my life.
• I stopped chasing for clarity and started listening to my body.
• I stopped making them the center and became a sanctuary for myself.
• I stopped asking, “Do they love me back?” and started asking, “Am I loving myself now?”

As I did, the field of love changed.
It softened.
It ripened.
It stopped hurting.

It became like that not because the love disappeared but because the attachment dissolved.
I stopped holding on and I started holding space.

The choice to hold space revealed a few key lessons:

Somewhere along the way, I had confused loving someone with holding everything in place: the emotion, the timeline, the version of me I thought they needed.

I wasn’t just holding the love.
I was also holding the fear, the doubt, the story that whispered: “If I soften, it will slip away”.

I called it loyalty. Devotion. Commitment.

But if I’m honest,  what it really was…was an ache disguised as endurance.

It took time to see it.
To name it.
To stop spiritualizing the suffering and admit: Holding is not the same as being held.

And so, I am no longer willing to carry what does not want to rest in my hands.

This is how so many of us have learned to love:
We grip what is uncertain.
We shape our lives around a connection we hope will arrive.
We endure the ache because letting go feels like erasing something sacred.

But true love was never meant to be endured.
It was meant to be embodied – freely, cleanly, lightly, fully.

It was hard to admit this to myself:
That what I called devotion was often efforting and self-sacrifice.
That what I called presence was sometimes fear in disguise.

I never believed love had to hurt but I stayed in the ache because I didn’t yet know how to love unconditionally.
I didn’t yet know how to love without needing, without gripping, without waiting.

So I made a vow to myself:

• I will love from truth, not from fear;
• I will stay open, but I will not chase;
• I will honor the connection;

but I will no longer trade my peace to keep it alive.

I finally remembered this truth:

Love – when it is real – does not punish me for becoming more of who I am.

And if you’ve been here too…
If you’ve stayed in love past the point of peace,  let me tell you what I wish someone had told me:

Love – in its purest form – asks for your presence.

Not your efforting.

Not your self-sacrificing.

It does not demand your suffering.
It does not shrink you into silence.
It does not require you to endure in order to prove that it’s sacred.

Waiting, when rooted in fear, is not noble.
It’s simply exhausting and it drains your vitality and passion.

Finally, here’s the part I didn’t know I was allowed to say:
I still love them. I do.

But I no longer need them to do anything about it.
I no longer need to shape my choices around a response that may never come.
I no longer need to contort my aliveness into a waiting room.

My love is not a question that requires an answer.
It is not a bargain waiting to be fulfilled.

It is a frequency I’ve chosen to live inside – not as the center of my life, but as the current that runs through it all.

This is freedom.
Not numbness.
Not indifference.

It is the freedom to let love hold me without asking it to hold what I am meant to carry myself.

Now, when the familiar ache rises, I meet it kindly.
Not with shame.
Not with self-correction.

But with a breath that says: “Yes, I feel this. And I am still free.”

It still aches not because I haven’t moved on, and not because the connection wasn’t real but because love once touched a part of me that had never been touched before.

The ache is not longing. It is a subtle echo of something sacred.
A reminder that my heart opened wide and that it still knows how to.

This is not about forgetting them.
It’s about remembering myself more fully within the space that love revealed.

If you’re still reading this, you’ve probably known the kind of love that rearranges you.
The kind that doesn’t make sense on paper, but lives in your bones.

Whether it was fully returned or not,  it was real.

And now, you are learning to love cleanly  without needing it to be returned in order to remain true.

Maybe you’re tired.
Maybe you’re asking: “Can I still love them without waiting? Without needing? Without losing myself?”

The answer is yes.

But it’s not the kind of yes that comes with steps or rules. It’s the kind of yes that comes with liberation.

You don’t have to stop loving.
You just have to stop holding on… gripping, attaching, bracing.

Let the love exist.
Let it breathe.
Let it shape you… without shrinking you.

You are not weak for feeling so much.
You are not foolish for loving them still.
You are not broken for wanting connection and choosing your sovereignty at the same time.

You are remembering how to love cleanly.
And that…
that is rare.

What becomes possible when you stop holding?

You reclaim your time.
Your joy.
Your life.
You become the center of your own field again.

From that center, love flows in a new direction: one that nourishes rather than depletes.

You stop asking love to rescue you.
And you start letting love rise in you.

Let these words land in your body.
Let your breath return to you.
Let your own truth meet you where you are.

This is not the end of love.
It is the return of love to its rightful place:
Inside you.
For you.
With you.
Always.

You are free to love without holding.
And in doing so, you are finally free to receive.

From my heart to yours…

May the deep tension in your chest soften into breath.
May the ache in your heart dissolve into presence.
May the love you carry be allowed to live as lightness; not pressure.

You do not need to harden to be whole.
You do not need to let go of the love, only the holding. Only the gripping.

Let love flow where it wants to.
Let your devotion free you.
Let your own heart return to you – sovereign, open, at peace.

You are not waiting.
You are not trapped.
You are becoming.

May this be your remembering.
May this be your return.

If these words have opened something in you, you are warmly invited to receive the companion audio transmission:
“To Love Without Holding – An audio transmission to dissolve the grip of longing, attachment, and ache –  and let love flow cleanly”.

It is a frequency recalibration to return you to sovereign love.
It is a living transmission of clean devotion;  a space to:
• release what’s not yours to carry
• soften the ache without shutting down
• remember how to love without losing yourself

🎧 Listen here:

Through my podcast channel: “To Love Without Holding” audio transmission

Through my online sanctuary (and you can download the audio file there too):  https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/tolovewithoutholding

It’s my free offer to you and you are welcome to listen to it as often as you wish. If it meets you deeply and you feel called to offer a gift in return, you’re welcome to do so through here: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/AstutiM It is highly appreciated.

With love,

Astuti 💛💜

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

P.S. Ready to live your true wealth? Explore Authentic Wealth Embodiment (AWE) here: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/the-authentic-wealth-embodiment-program

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

Burnout versus Burning Out

Living the difference between depletion and purification

There is a difference most of us do not see in burnout.

On the surface, both look like exhaustion – heavy, overwhelming, and final.

One is burnout – a collapse that drains you until nothing remains.
The other is burning out – a purification fire moving through you that empties what is not yours, so your original light can rise again.

Seeing the two of them distinctively and clearly is the difference that can set you free.

Let me be clear of what I mean when I speak of “the fire”.

The fire is the deep current that moves through your body and energetic field when what is not and no longer yours (patterns, programs, beliefs, repressed and suppressed emotions) begins to leave.
It can feel physical, like exhaustion, heat, pain, tears, waves of grief.
It can feel emotional, like everything you’ve held down rising at once.
It can feel spiritual,  like life itself saying: no more lies and illusions, only truth now.

This fire can destroy if resisted, but it purifies if allowed.

The fire I have known

I have known both.

In 2008, I collapsed into burnout. I was emptied by over-responsibility, stripped of joy, carrying so many things what were never mine. I was largely disconnected from myself.

Then, in 2024, I was burning out, so intensely that I felt my body was going to die.

This looked the same with the one in 2008 on the surface – exhaustion, heaviness, many moments of weeping, a sense of physical crushing in my body.

This fire, however, was different than in 2008.

The 2024 one was so much more intense than the fire of the past, but it wasn’t destroying me.

It was burning away the deepest level of many depleting subconscious mind programs, such as…

• over-responsibility that had once emptied me.
• the way I kept holding everything together – for myself, for others, for the collective – at the cost of the well-being of my own body.
• the self-sacrifice that made me give myself away until very little remained.

It was burning through years of suppressed grief, loosening the tears and losses that had stayed burried hidden because “I had to push through”.

It was burning through the survival vows of “I must endure, I must push, I must hold on and stay on my calling and purpose no matter the cost”.

Finally, in 2024, the purification reached the deepest level it could go without destroying the core of my being.

Some of this weight was not mine alone.

Part of what my body was burning out belonged to the collective – ancestral exhaustion, generational heaviness, the residue of humanity’s old scaffolding.

Burnout in 2008 broke me and left me emptied of myself.
Burning out in 2024 emptied me into myself. It purified me, and brought me back home to my original essence.

Two fires, two truths

Burnout is distortion. It is the collapse that comes from giving away your life force until nothing remains.

Burning out is purification. It is the sacred fire that clears distortion from your body and field so your original codes can shine again.

Burnout drains because you pour yourself into distorted programs, like over-giving, proving, self-sacrificing.

Burning out empties because your system is detoxing – purging and flushing out residue, dismantling your inner scaffoldings and others that no longer belong.

What feels like weakness is in truth your nervous system and field restructuring themselves for a higher baseline.

When you see this clearly, the fire no longer feels like an enemy.
One consumes you. The other returns you to yourself.

When you live this difference in your own body, the experience is unmistakable.

How the two feel in your body… and they are different

Burnout feels like dragging yourself through the day, numb and hollow, with no spark left.

Burning out feels like your body crying out no more moving in life out of unexamined habits – demanding rest, forcing you to stop on auto pilot and making decisions.
Through it, you may ache, sleep longer, or feel waves of grief. You may feel like your body is crushing within. Yet beneath the intensity there is a knowing: this is not collapse, this is cleansing.

If you’ve felt bone-deep exhaustion… if your body has cried out and you feared you were failing… know this: you are not alone. Many mistake purification for collapse.

Yet, when you begin to discern the difference, your body itself becomes your teacher, not your betrayer.
When you listen to your body, you will move through this passage intact and much lighter at the end of it.

When burning out turns into burnout

The fire itself is not the danger.

Burning out becomes burnout when you resist it.
When you keep pushing through.
When you cling to what is burning away.
When you mistake purification for failure, and cover it with shame.

Then, the fire cannot cleanse; it can only consume.

The nervous system frays, the body collapses, and burnout takes hold.

This is why so many people feel confused and stuck.

They may already have tried to do something about it, like taking a holiday, seeking therapy, changing routines yet the fire keeps returning.

Often, what they are really doing is trying to put out the fire.

Putting out the fire is seeking temporary relief: taking an extended holiday but returning to the same patterns, numbing or distracting, or receiving support that only manages symptoms.

These soothe in the moment, but they don’t let the fire complete its work so it reignites.

Allow the fire to move through you with support is something very different.

It means letting yourself be held while you let go of what is actually burning away. Therapists, companions, or guides can help you recognize what is leaving and steady you as it goes.

Rest and care then become fuel for purification – not escape from it.

Burning out becomes burnout when you fight the fire.
Burning out stays purification when you allow it to move through you.

What becomes possible

When you stop fearing the fire, you can finally trust it.
You no longer resist exhaustion – you let it cleanse you.
You stop clinging to what is burning away, and you begin to feel lighter. Clearer. More yourself.

What remains after burning out is you – undistorted, radiant, free.

So let these words land in your body.
Feel the fire that once scared you become a warmth that holds you.
Breathe it in.
Let it burn away what is not yours.

Right now, you are remembering that:
You are not broken.
You are not weak.
You are not failing.
You are purifying.
And from that remembrance, something new becomes possible.

Truth anchors for burning out

Let these truths settle in you now as something to remember, to relive.
It’s a return to how your body already knows.
Receive these truths as you read slowly and breathe them into your bones, your cells, your energy field:

“Burning out is not my failure. It is my purification.

What feels like emptiness is my system emptying what is not mine.

This exhaustion is a sacred fire, not a collapse.

What burns away is distortion. What remains is the true me, my core essence.

The fire is my ally. I am safe to let it pass through.

It is safe for me to let go of the fears”.

Let these truths steady you.

From my heart to yours

If you are burning out, trust it.

This fire is not your enemy, it is your ally.
It is not the end of you. It is the end of what you are not.
At the end of the purification, you will rise from it much lighter.

If your body wishes to embody this truth more deeply, there is an audio transmission available for you.
It is a guided companion to help you integrate the remembrance that burning out is purification, not collapse, and to let your body feel this truth directly.

Click here to listen through my podcast (no sign-in required): https://open.spotify.com/episode/0Cf5FEXUeXab7ul7jajYIG?si=erjyscX5THiWJGCC4WBbcg

Click here when you choose to listen to it through my online Sanctuary: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/burnoutversusburningout

This audio transmission is my gift to you.

If you feel moved to offer a gift in return, you may do so from the same place this transmission lives: truth and lightness. You are welcome to do it through here: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/AstutiM

If this reflection stirred something in you, I would be honored to hear your reflections.
You are always welcome to write to me, whenever your heart feels called.

With love,

Astuti

💛💜

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

P.S. Ready to live your true wealth? Explore Authentic Wealth Embodiment (AWE) here: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/the-authentic-wealth-embodiment-program

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

Living the Sovereignty of Patience

A transmission on timing, truth, and the power to move when it is time

The ache of being asked to wait

Be patient, they say.
When you’ve poured your heart out and heard nothing back.
When someone you love is unsure.
When a job interview goes silent.
When your body aches but healing takes time.
When the life you long for hasn’t arrived yet and you’re not sure if it will.

You try. You wait.

But, something inside you whispers…
This is not just waiting. This is something else.

For the first time, you wonder “Is this patience… or have I simply learned to stay still and put even when something or someone I wait for no longer meets me?”

What patience is not and what it truly is

Most of us were taught that being patient meant being good.
Sit still. Stay put.
Don’t complain.
Wait your turn.
Trust that it will all work out even if nothing changes.

We learned to stay quiet, even when we needed answers.
We stayed loyal, even when the direction had already shifted, not through words, but through absence, hesitation, or delay.
Even when the commitment was no longer alive, we kept showing up, hoping it would come back.

We didn’t want to seem difficult, or demanding, or ungrateful.

So…we waited because we were afraid to move.

We called that patience.

The fact is, this kind of patience is not presence.
It is tension in disguise.
It looks steady from the outside.

Inside however, we are holding back, holding on, holding our breaths.

We learned to wait like this because it once felt safer than being left behind.
It is because moving forward without certainty felt like too much to risk.

We stayed, and waited, and called it love, or loyalty, or faith, hoping it would keep us safe.

The truth is, real patience is not about putting our life on hold or dimming our voice while we wait for something to change.

Real patience is not:

• Waiting for someone or something that’s no longer meeting us
• Enduring silence and calling it trust
• Staying in the same place because we don’t want to hurt anyone
• Shrinking or slowing down our pace because someone else is not ready
• Hoping things will change without checking if they’re still true

These aren’t signs of strength.
They’re signs that something in we have gone quiet because of the fear of uncertainy.

Real patience is steady and not stuck.
It is alive.
It knows when to breathe… and when to move.
It knows the difference between a pause that protects and a pause that drains.

True patience doesn’t ask us to wait endlessly.
It asks us to stay present:
present with our truth,
present with the moment,
present with ourselves.

Patience is not a waiting room.
Patience is a practice of noticing what is still aligned and what quietly is not anymore.

What true patience feels like when you’re aligned

When patience is rooted in alignment, it doesn’t feel like waiting.
It feels like living in your own timing  – grounded, present, and unhurried.

It is calm but not frozen.
It is still  but not shut down.

You can feel life moving, even when nothing has physically changed yet.

You’re not anxiously checking for updates, but you’re not pretending not to care either.

You’re present and honest with where things actually are.

True patience feels like:

• Breathing fully, even in the unknown
• Trusting your pace without trying to match someone else’s
• Staying open without chasing
• Holding space without abandoning yourself
• Moving when it is time without waiting for permission

It is the knowing that you are still in your power, even when the outcome is unclear.
True patience is the difference between delaying your life and honoring your timing.

When patience is true, your mind is not spinning for answers. It is clear enough to be still.
Your heart is not grasping. It is steady, even if tender.
There is space inside you, not pressure.
And in that space, you can hear what is yours to do… and what is not.

Real patience feels like a steady inner signal:
“I’m here. I’m listening. I’ll move when it is time”

The moment you know it is time to move

Sometimes the most honest thing patience can do is end.

Not always with a dramatic goodbye.
But with a quiet clarity: “This is no longer true for me”

It doesn’t always come with warning.
It doesn’t always come with full closure, either.
But it does come with peace because your body stops holding its breath.
Then, you stop trying to stay where life no longer meets you.

You don’t need a reason that satisfies everyone.

You just feel the moment:

• when the commitment is no longer mutual
• when the silence no longer feels sacred
• when your loyalty starts costing you your aliveness
• when staying would mean leaving yourself

And before you move your body, you breathe differently.
It is the breath that reconnects you to yourself.

That one breath is the beginning.
The quiet leap.
The signal that you are no longer willing to delay your life for something that is not meeting you.

You don’t need a full plan to choose to move.
You only need one breath that tells the truth and the willingness to follow it.

When you move in alignment, you are no longer waiting.
You are living.
And in that living, you make space for what is truly meant for you to arrive.

Living the sovereignty of patience

Let these truths settle in you now as something to remember.

This is not a new concept to adopt. Instead, it is a return to how your body already knows.

Receive these as you read slowly and breathe them into your bones.

“You are allowed to stop waiting where waiting has become heavy.
You are allowed to move when the moment no longer mirrors your devotion.
You are allowed to stay in your own pace without apology.

Sovereign patience feels different.
It is not about how long you wait.
It is about how honestly you live inside each moment.

You no longer use stillness to prove your goodness.
You no longer shrink your life to avoid disappointing others.
You no longer abandon your knowing for the sake of being “patient”.

Instead, you become steady in your timing.
You feel what is true and you trust that feeling.
You let go of the wait when clarity arrives because you’re staying honest, not giving up.

You’re not afraid of the pause anymore because you know the difference between a pause that nourishes and a pause that drains.

You no longer wait from fear.
You move from knowing. And in that knowing, you breathe more easily.

You take up your full space again.
You create room for what can actually meet you fully, presently, and without delay.

You don’t rush.
You don’t shrink.
You simply live in your own time.

This is the sovereignty of patience”

Reflection invitations

• Where in your life have you been calling something patience… but it no longer feels aligned?
• What would shift if you trusted your own timing more than someone else’s pace?
• What truth has been quietly asking you to move and are you ready to listen?

Whispers from my heart to yours

May you feel the breath that changes everything.
May you stop calling waiting a virtue when it costs you your peace.
May you move from the truth your body already knows.

May your timing be your own.
May your clarity be enough.
May your life meet you where you truly are.

If your body wishes to embody this truth more deeply, there is an audio transmission waiting for you.
It is a guided companion to help you remember how aligned patience sounds, feels, and moves through your nervous system.

Go here to access it via podcast (no sign in required)  https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Q7BEfUEviDXsUNCIFYMNg?si=l6Xzp_LVT1OQLJlCH6aIkQ

or on my online Sanctuary of Wholeness: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/sovereigntyofpatience

This is my gift to you. If you feel moved to offer a gift in return, you may do so from the same place this transmission lives: truth and love. You are welcome to do so through here: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/AstutiM

With love,

Astuti

💛💜

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

P.S. Ready to live your true wealth? Explore Authentic Wealth Embodiment (AWE) here: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/the-authentic-wealth-embodiment-program

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

When Love Costs Life:

Healing The Hidden Wound In Parenting And Leadership

My invitation:

This is not a piece to read with your mind alone.
It is a remembrance to be felt with your whole being.
Let your breath slow. Let your body listen.
Let what resonates rise, and what doesn’t fall away.

You are here to meet what is true for you – in your own time, in your own way.

It’s common to hear people say,
“I live for my children”.
“Everything I do is for them”.

While the devotion is beautiful, it reveals something deeper: a belief that love must come through sacrifice.
That to be a good parent, leader, or guide, one must give everything – even at the cost of oneself.

But is that truly love?
Or is it a pattern that keeps us from showing the next generation what life could really be?

Love is a word we often misplace.

Many actions driven by fear, control, guilt, obligation, or even unhealed trauma are wrapped in the label of “love”.

When the label is misplaced, it creates confusion.
It teaches children and adults that love equals control.
That love equals self-abandonment.
That love demands sacrifice.

But real love is different.

Real love fuels life.
It expands.
It liberates.
It honors sovereignty.

What is love, really?

Love is not just a feeling, though it can be felt.
Love is not just a presence, though it can be sensed.
Love is not just a choice, though it asks to be chosen.

Love is a frequency. A living current.
It flows naturally when the truth of your being is allowed to exist.
It is what you return to when nothing is forced, fixed, or feared.

Love is the natural state of what remains when fear is gone.
It is not manufactured.
It is revealed.

You know it is love when:

• You feel safe to be fully yourself.
• You are not asked to shrink, betray, or abandon yourself to belong.
• There is no game. No transaction.
• You are seen without being managed.
• You are honored even when you are different.
• You expand in their presence, not disappear.
• There is freedom in the bond, not fear of loss.

Love maybe messy and challenging, but it is clean.
It may bring up wounds, but it does not become the wound.
It invites healing, not reenactment.
It breathes truth, not distortion.

Love is not intensity.
Intensity can come from chaos, drama, or trauma.
Love – real love – is spacious.
It has depth without overwhelm.
Clarity without control.
Passion without possession.

Love is not just something we feel.
It is something we become.
When people become it, there is no need to prove it.

How can we tell when “love” is misplaced?

Here are a few simple self-check questions:

• Does this action come from expansion or contraction? (Love expands. Fear contracts.)
• Am I honoring my own truth, or abandoning myself to be accepted or needed?
• Am I trying to control an outcome because I’m afraid of loss or rejection?
• Would I still choose this if there were no guilt, fear, or expectation involved?
• Is this about truly seeing and supporting the other person or about fulfilling my own unhealed needs?

When we pause and ask ourselves these questions, we begin to see clearly.
True love does not diminish life. It breathes life into us.

True love says:
“I want to see you fully alive, even if that means you choose differently than I would”.

The high cost of smallness

When a parent erases themselves for their child, the child often grows up carrying invisible burdens:

• Feeling responsible for their parent’s happiness.
• Believing that thriving comes at the cost of someone else’s well-being.
• Learning that love equals self-abandonment.
• Shrinking themselves to stay safe or belong.

Very often, children unconsciously self-sabotage their own success, happiness, or authenticity out of loyalty to their parents’ patterns.
It becomes an unspoken contract: “If you couldn’t live fully, I won’t either”.
“If you stayed small for me, I’ll stay small for you”.

This misplaced loyalty is not love.
It is a distortion that keeps generation after generation trapped in cycles of limitation.

We must stop hiding behind our children as an excuse for our own smallness.

Choosing vitality, wholeness, and freedom is not selfish.

It is leadership. It is the breaking of an invisible chain.

This smallness is expensive.

It costs us mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It robs us of vitality, joy, and true connection – not just individually, but across entire family lines.

The price is too high.

Authenticity is the real inheritance

The real wealth we can pass on is not financial security alone.
The real wealth is existence based on authenticity; living truths.

A parent (or leader, or mentor) who chooses to live fully – who says yes to their own truth, health, dreams, and beingness – is a living proof to their child (and their members):

• It’s safe to exist.
• It’s safe to be whole.
• It’s safe to thrive without guilt.

When we live authentically, we model a life where love and life are not in opposition.

We break the old contract that says “I must die inside so you can live”.
Instead, we birth a new one: “I will live fully, and in doing so, show you that you can too”.

An invitations to parents and to all of us

If you’re a parent, remember:
Your life is not a debt to be paid. Your life is a gift to be lived.

To the rest of us, remember:
You are still shaping the world the next generation will inherit.

The more you embody your authentic self, the more space you create for the next generation to do the same.

We don’t need more martyrs.
We need more living, breathing, sovereign souls who show that life itself is sacred.

When love costs our vitality, it is no longer love.
When love fuels our life, it becomes an endless source of freedom.

Reflection questions:

• Where have I inherited the belief that love must equal sacrifice or smallness?
• In what ways have I unconsciously stayed small out of loyalty to my parents’ or ancestors’ patterns?
• What has it already cost me – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually – to stay small?
• What would change if I declared my existence sacred and chose to live fully, without guilt?
• What true wealth could I create and pass forward if I embodied my authentic self now?

At the heart of our existence – beneath the work, the parenting, the choices, the longing – is the call to come home to love.
It is the one truth beneath all wars and all healing.

The absence of love fractures us.
The presence of love restores us.

When love is real and alive, it fuels more than money ever could, reaches further than status ever will, and heals deeper than power ever has.

This transmission is not a demand to believe, but an invitation to be received.
May you meet this transmission in a way that is true to you.
Let it speak to what is ready. Let it pass by what is not.

You may also receive this as an audio transmission – voiced in my own breath and rhythm, and infused with 528 Hz – the frequency of love, restoration, and remembrance.
Let this truth not only be read, but felt. Heard. Received by your body.

Listen on Spotify (no sign-in required) or here https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/whenlovecostslife

This is a gift. You may receive it freely. If you feel moved to offer something in return, you’re welcome to make a donation in the amount that feels true for you here.

May the love you remember – and become – be the most powerful legacy you offer the world 💛💜

With love,
Astuti

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

P.S. Ready to live your true wealth? Explore Authentic Wealth Embodiment (AWE) here: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/the-authentic-wealth-embodiment-program

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory