I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard someone say,
“I’ve done so much healing… so why do I still feel stuck?”

I’ve felt it too – that quiet frustration when the same pattern circles back, even after you’ve cried the tears, walked away from what no longer served, and honored your process with everything you had.

And still, something feels held.
A part of you aches or resists, but you can’t quite name what it’s loyal to.

The truth is, sometimes what holds us back is not trauma we can see.
It is soul agreements we once made in silence.

---

What Soul Agreements Are

Soul agreements are energetic promises made by your conscious or unconscious self, or inherited from your lineage, culture, or upbringing.

They shape your patterns, relationships, and identity long after the moment has passed.

They come in many forms:

• Vows, like “I’ll never love again”
• Oaths, like “I swear to stay loyal to this family, cause, or God”
• Pledges, like “I pledge allegiance…”
• Contracts, often unspoken, like “I’ll sacrifice myself to keep you safe”
• Declarations, like “My kids are my whole world” or “I owe everything to my mother”
• Marriage vows, spoken as sacred contracts, like “I will love you forever” or “until death do us part”

 

These can be made:

• In heartbreak or devotion
• Through repetition in childhood or religious ritual
• As a trauma response
• As a cultural expectation
• Or inherited from your ancestors without ever saying a word

Most were never questioned.
Some were never even spoken aloud.
But all were remembered by the soul.

---

Everyday Examples

You may have legally divorced a partner but never cleared the vow that said “forever” or “until death do us part.”
You may have walked away from a religion but still feel guilt for having done so.
You may have promised a parent, “I’ll always take care of you,” and now wonder why you feel conflicted about building a life of your own.

One of mine was: “I’ll always take care of you, Mama and Papa.”
It wasn’t something I promised out loud. I made that vow inside myself, quietly and completely.
So much so that I once believed I could never start my own family until both of my parents had died.

Because of that vow, I slowed down or postponed the creation of a life centered in my authentic self.
And even when I moved toward it, I carried guilt for doing so.

 

You may have declared, “I’ll never be like them,” and still find yourself reacting from the same pain.

You may have pledged your allegiance to a country, a role, a movement, or a lineage without realizing that something in you stayed bound there.

Even a simple statement like, “I love my mother more than anyone in the world,” may make it difficult to fully open to a partner if the subconscious reads that love as exclusive or absolute.

These may seem small or sentimental, but to the energy body they are binding.

It could be that at the point of invoking these vows, they helped and protected you… until they don’t anymore.

Until they are seen and cleared, they continue to shape how you live, love, lead, create, and choose.

 

---

You may not remember the vow.

But you may recognize some of these symptoms:

• Repeating patterns with people you’ve already outgrown
• Feeling like love, success, or rest always slips through your fingers
• Sabotaging opportunities right before they land
• Loyalty to people or systems that no longer feel true
• Deep fear of being seen or punished for being visible
• Feeling bound to someone long after they’ve left
• An unexplained sense that you must keep paying for something
• Inner conflict between what you say you want and what you allow yourself to have

These are not flaws.
They are echoes of agreements made in the past, consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly.

When you feel called to read this transmission, your soul is now ready to complete all or some of them.

 

---

The Inner Mechanics

You may not consciously remember making these agreements, but your subconscious mind does.
More importantly, your energy system, including your subconscious mind, still carries them.

When soul agreements like these are not acknowledged and consciously cleared, they do not dissolve with time.
They do not automatically expire.

They remain active beneath the surface and become part of your internal operating system that shapes your sense of self and what you believe is possible.

They create fragmentation: a split between the part of you that wants to move forward and the part still loyal to a past promise.

This inner conflict can affect how you receive love, how you create, how you allow yourself to be seen, and how much freedom you feel in your own life.

Even if the mind says, “I’m ready,” the energy body may still say, “I can’t.”
When your body remembers the vow, it is trying to stay faithful to it even if it no longer serves you.

 

---

What Becomes Possible After the Clearing

When soul agreements are seen, acknowledged, and cleared, your body begins to soften.
Your mind stops fighting itself.
Your energy starts to return home.

Something real begins to shift, even if you can’t explain it.

You may notice:

• Space where there was once pressure
• Peace where there was confusion
• Openness where there was contraction
• Energy where there was fatigue
• Clarity where there was looping thought
• Movement in areas of life that once felt frozen
• More honesty in your relationships
• A deeper ability to choose what truly supports you

You may find yourself:

• Saying no without explaining yourself
• Letting go of guilt when choosing what brings you joy
• No longer texting someone who keeps pulling you back into an old version of you
• Sleeping more deeply because your nervous system no longer needs to stay on guard
• Feeling calm after expressing something you once feared would cause rejection

You may find yourself speaking what you used to silence.
Resting when you once would have pushed.
Receiving what you used to deflect.
Creating from joy instead of obligation.
And walking away without guilt.

This isn’t about perfection.
It is about remembering that you are allowed to be whole again.

When what once held you no longer has a hold, you don’t need to try so hard to move forward.
You simply begin to return to yourself.

---

A Living Transmission Begins

You do not need to keep promises you made from fear.
You do not need to protect others by abandoning yourself.
You do not need to carry what you were never meant to hold.

It is safe now to see these hidden threads.
It is safe now to set them down.

I dissolved mine completely and thoroughly and it changed my life.

Welcome to the remembering.
The real work begins with truth.
And it begins right here.

Let what you read land in your body, received by every cell in your body.
There is nothing you need to do apart from receiving.

 

---

Companion Video Transmission Coming Soon

A transmission is not just a message.
It is a spoken energetic field.
A living invitation for your soul, your subconscious, your body, and your heart to remember what has always been true beneath what you were taught to believe.

In the upcoming companion video transmission, I will guide you through this field.
We will dissolve what was never meant to stay and call home the parts of you that were given away in the name of love, survival, or silence.

To be notified, stay close to my upcoming post. 

With love,

Astuti

P.s. Please share this with someone in your circles who would breathe deeper remembering themselves within this perspective. Thank you!

 

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

Start here: A moment of stillness

Take a breath.
Feel your body.
If you’re reading this, something in you already knows.
Let’s meet it together.

---

Truth doesn’t need more time. It needs a voice.

There are moments in life when you don’t need more time.
You don’t need more signs. You don’t even need more clarity.

You just need to say it. Out loud.
To yourself. To another. To the space around you that’s been waiting for your field to align.

 Not to prove anything. Not to create a reaction. Not to control the outcome.

Simply because truth wants to be witnessed in form.

---

What changes when you speak truth aloud

Your breath shifts.
Your nervous system exhales.
Your field begins to organize itself.

Until it’s spoken, truth floats just above the surface of your life — real, but not yet rooted.

You may feel it. You may even live in partial alignment with it.

But it hasn’t fully landed.
If the truth hasn’t landed, neither has your soul.

---

When truth is not spoken

When truth is not spoken, the soul begins to hover – slightly above the body, never fully landing.
Not gone – just waiting.

The body feels the weight of that waiting:

• Tightness in the throat
• Pressure in the chest
• Fog in the mind
• Fatigue that has no name
• Tension that no massage can fully release

Unspoken truth doesn’t just disappear. It finds other ways to speak.

Sometimes it becomes anxiety.
Sometimes resentment.
Sometimes chronic self-doubt because when what you know is not allowed to live,
you begin to question if you know anything at all.

The mind tries to manage the silence.
It spins stories.
It rationalizes discomfort.
It keeps you in dialogue with a truth you’re not letting out.

 

And the heart?
The heart begins to dull. Not because it doesn’t care, but because it can’t keep carrying what was never meant to be held alone.

Unspoken truth slowly disconnects the body, mind, and soul from one another.
Not in one violent break, but in a quiet drift.

Eventually, you find yourself living slightly outside your own life: functional but not free.

 

---

You’re remembering, not performing

When you speak aloud what you know is true, you’re making coherence.

Your voice becomes a signal: clear, grounded, clean.
You allow what is already real to take shape in your life, your body, and your field, not necessarily creating something new.

---

Some words are portals

Some words, when finally spoken, change everything:

• “I love you.”
• “I’m done.”
• “This is who I really am.”
• “I can’t keep pretending.”
• “I’m ready now.”
• “No.”
• “Yes.”

These aren’t just words. They are openings.

Once spoken, you can’t unknow them.
Anyhow, you don’t want to because when they are spoken, the soul can finally step all the way in.

 

---

It’s not easy

Speaking truth aloud is not always easy.
For many, it’s the hardest thing they’ll ever do.

Why?

Because the body remembers what happened the last time truth was spoken.

Maybe it triggered abandonment.
Maybe it brought betrayal.
Maybe it led to being dismissed, mocked, or punished.

For some, speaking is not about courage – it’s about survival.

The fear is real.
It is not dramatic. It is not irrational.
It’s the imprint of a past moment when truth cost safety.

So if you freeze, hesitate, or feel resistance – I see you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are responding from a place that once protected you.

And still… you’re here. Reading this. Feeling something stir.

It means you know that it’s time to gently listen.

---

From my life: The journey from fear to aligned embodiment.

There was a time when I hesitated to speak my truth.
Not because I didn’t know it, but because I loved too deeply.

My fear wasn’t for myself. It was for those I cared about.
What would happen to them if I said what was true for me?

Would my words cause shame for someone I love?
Would my clarity trigger consequences they didn’t choose?
Would society judge them because of a truth that lived in me?

I learned to protect others with my silence, especially those I once carried fiercely inside my field.

Over time, the silence began to fracture me and I came to realize that truth is not harm when it is spoken in love; when I spoke about it from a place of love myself.

Truth does not shame when it is offered from clarity.
Truth that is withheld to protect others can slowly erase the one who holds it.

So I began to speak.
Not to justify, not to explain but to allow my soul to take its full place in my life.

Now, when I speak, I don’t do it recklessly.
I still speak with love – but also with trust that my truth is not a threat to anyone’s dignity.

 

It’s a light. A boundary. A return.

There was another reason I held my tongue for so long.

I didn’t want my truth to be used against me.

Not in conflict. Not in judgment. Not in manipulation.

 

I’ve always known that truth – once spoken – can be powerful.
I’ve also known that power can be twisted in unsafe hands.

So I waited.

Not because I lacked clarity, but because I needed to know that my truth would be held,
not turned into something it was never meant to be.

I wasn’t hiding. I was protecting what was holy.

Now, I don’t wait for perfect conditions.
I speak only when the space within me is clean enough to hold what I know. I’ve become the safe space I once searched for.

 

---

Reflection

You may want to pause here. Close your eyes.
Write what comes.

• Where in my body do I feel tightness when I imagine saying my truth?
• What am I afraid will happen if I say what I know?
• What do I believe this silence is protecting?

Breathe.
No rush. No shame. Receive.

---

You don’t have to speak yet, but you can begin preparing to

If you’re not ready to say it yet, it’s fine.

You’re building readiness in your field.

You can begin gently – by listening inward instead of holding back.

When you’re ready, I’ve created a companion video transmission (that I will bring out later this week) to walk with you through this exact threshold.

It helps you:

• Soften the blockages in your body
• Feel safe again with what you know
• Return to the truth you’ve carried all along

 

You don’t have to speak yet but you can begin preparing your body to say it – when it’s time.

When truth is spoken, your soul finally lands in your body.

You deserve to live in a body that can hold your truth.
That can walk in it. That can receive love, clarity, and provision through it.

With love,

Astuti

P.s. Please share this with someone in your circles who would breathe deeper remembering themselves within this perspective. Thank you!

 

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

When the Body Changes During Transformation

– When your body is doing things your mind doesn’t understand

 

I often receive messages from my clients, whether after a one-to-one session or while they’re going through one of my self-paced programs.

 

They describe how their body is going through an experience that feels strange or uncomfortable.
Tightness. Waves of fatigue. Skin eruptions. Crying without reason.
Sometimes even diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, or cold-like symptoms.
What feels like a stomach flu might suddenly move through them after a release.

Many of them ask me, “Is this normal?”” Did I do something wrong?”

They’re not alone. And neither are you.

 

---

When deep change moves through, the body responds. Sometimes the mind panics.

You get tired in ways that sleep doesn’t fix.
Your digestion shifts.
Your skin breaks out.
Your appetite disappears, or suddenly returns with force.
You can’t focus the way you used to.
Or you start feeling everything more deeply than before: smells, sounds, people’s emotions, your own inner world.

This isn’t dysfunction. This isn’t failure.

This is what happens when supportive subconscious programs begin integrating or reactivating in your energetic system.

Transformation is real when your root, your cells, your subconscious mind, and your body respond.
Your body is not betraying you; it is recalibrating you.

 

You may notice things like:

• Unusual fatigue or restlessness
• Emotional waves that don’t seem to “match” the moment
• Feeling full with very little food, or hungry for grounding foods
• Skin flare-ups, itchiness, or heat
• Nervous system sensitivity to sound, light, people
• Moments of dizziness, spaciness, or bursts of clarity

These can be signs that your body is integrating something real, not breaking down.

But it’s also okay to ask, “Is this something more?”

 

---

Here’s a simple way to begin discerning:

🌀 A Gentle Check-In for the Body

Ask yourself:

• Did this symptom arrive after a deep emotional or energetic shift?
• Does it feel like release, or like disruption?
• Is my body asking for space, or does it feel like it’s asking for intervention?
• Do I feel more open or more shut down afterward?
• Is there fear in my system, or just sensation?

If what you’re feeling is coming from integration, your body may feel tender but still trustworthy.
If it’s coming from external imbalance, your body will often feel agitated, distressed, or unsafe.

Not everything needs to be figured out immediately. But some signals do ask for prompt care.
Stay present. Listen closely. Include your body in the conversation and respond with discernment.

 

The body doesn’t rush.
It doesn’t care about deadlines or performance.
It cares about integration, and integration takes presence.

If you’ve been wondering why you’re more sensitive, more tired, more emotional, more still…
Maybe the answer isn’t that something’s wrong.
Maybe you’re right on time.

And maybe, just maybe, your body knows more than your mind does.

Let this be your reminder.
There is intelligence in the discomfort.
There is wisdom in the slowness.
There is safety in honoring what’s happening in your body.

 

In a few days, I’ll be sharing a video transmission called Your Body Already Knows.

But for now, let this truth land first.

You don’t need to override your body to heal.
You need to include it.

With love,

Astuti

 

P.s. Please share this with someone in your circles who would breathe deeper remembering themselves within this perspective. Thank you!

 

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

 

For the ones who never fully fit, but always moved forward anyway.

– A living transmission by Astuti Martosudirdjo

 

If you felt drawn to open this, it’s likely because something inside you already knows.

Maybe you’ve already named yourself a Trailblazer.

Or maybe… you’re only just beginning to realize that the way you’ve moved through life – the visions you hold, the resistance you’ve met, the paths you’ve quietly carved – are signs of something deeper.

Whether you know it clearly or feel it quietly…

This transmission is for the Trailblazer in you – the seen and the still-hidden. The empowered and the questioning. The celebrated and the misunderstood.

You’re accomplished, but something feels off.
You’re respected, but it feels like parts of you had to disappear to get here.
You’ve succeeded within systems, but your soul aches for something more honest.

You’re not alone.

This is not failure. This is the tender truth of carrying a trailblazing frequency in a world that has not yet remembered how to receive it.

 

What is the Trailblazing Frequency?

You might wonder – why call it a frequency? Because this isn’t just a mindset. It’s not a personality trait.

It’s something you feel – in your body, in your choices, in the way you walk through life.

Imagine you are a vehicle, designed with a unique inner GPS.

You don’t always know the destination, but you feel the direction. That GPS sends signals – not through maps, but through sensation: a nudge when something feels off, a pull when something lights you up, a quiet knowing that says, “This is your way.”

 

This inner GPS lives in your body. It is your Core Self – the original part of you that holds your deepest truth.

It often speaks through intuition, felt in your chest, your gut, your breath, the tension or openness in your nervous system and through dreams.

It’s the soft tension before a no. The inner lift before a yes.

The quiet pull that doesn’t explain itself, but keeps returning.

You don’t need to explain it. You just need to honor it.

The Trailblazing Frequency is one of those signals. It doesn’t shout – it hums. The more you trust it, the more natural your movement becomes.

It is a subtle signal you’re always tuning into, whether you’ve named it or not. That signal doesn’t come from outside you – it’s emitted by the core part of who you are. It’s your inner GPS, guiding you through truth, alignment, and possibility.

The Trailblazing Frequency is the invisible current that guides how you lead, create, and move – even when the world doesn’t understand it yet.

Trailblazing frequency is not about being loud, rebellious, or constantly pushing boundaries.

It’s a deep inner knowing – a core part of who you are – that knows, deep down, you are here to do things differently.

It whispers: “There is another way.” Even when others praise the current way. Even when the systems reward your conformity.

You may carry this frequency in quiet innovation, in subtle truth-telling, in the way you build what didn’t exist before. You may carry it in how you lead, speak, create, walk away, or stay when others expect you to leave.

This energy doesn’t need to be big to be real.

You don’t choose to carry the trailblazing frequency – it chooses you. And when you stop resisting it, you realize it’s the easiest way to be who you really are.

 

The contradiction you’ve been living

Many of you who carry this frequency are in high-functioning, successful, or leadership roles. And yet – you feel split.

“I lead well, but I don’t feel free.” “I’m seen, but not fully known.” “I’m at the top, but not myself.”

You may tell yourself you should be grateful. And you are. But you’re also tired.

Because without realizing it, you’ve had to hide your essence to keep being rewarded.

This is not personal failure. This is the world’s delayed recognition of who you really are.

And now, the frequency within you is rising. You can’t suppress it anymore. You’re being called into wholeness.

 

An invitation to Wholeness

You don’t have to walk away from your role.
But you do have to walk toward your truth and bring it with you.

The way you lead, create, and vision doesn’t have to match the models you were trained in.
The path you’re called to carve is not a rejection of your past – it’s a homecoming.

You’re not difficult. You’re not discontented. You’re not scattered.
You’re a Trailblazer who hasn’t been mirrored clearly.

Until now.

Naming this – seeing it – is not self-indulgence. It is self-liberation.

 

A Moment to Feel

Take a breath.

Feel for the part of you that always knew you were different. Not for ego. Not for rebellion. But because you came carrying a blueprint the world hasn’t seen yet.

That knowing is still here. It never left. It’s waiting for your permission to lead.

 

A Mirror for Your Next Step

I invite you to take the Trailblazer Frequency Quiz — a simple and powerful mirror to help you name how this essence is currently moving through you.

👉🏽 Take the Trailblazer Frequency Quiz

It’s not about putting you in a box – it’s about helping you recognize your power without apology.

Those who complete the quiz and share their email will receive a video transmission as a sacred gift. A gentle activation to support what awakens when the remembering begins.

 

In Closing

You are not too much. You are not late. You are not lost.

You are remembering your way forward.

You don’t need to be fixed. You just need to return to the truth you’ve always carried.

The path is not new. It’s yours. And you are closer than you think.

🌿 Astuti

🌿P.s. Please share this with someone in your circles who would breathe deeper remembering themselves within this perspective. Thank you!

 

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory