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Decluttering trapped emotions after divorce or break-up

(Opportunity for a free 30-minute virtual session)

 

It doesn’t matter whether you just come out from a divorce /breakup or have been out of the woods for a while, what I truly want to know is how your heart feels now.

When the idea of starting a new relationship feels heavy on your chest and weighing your body down, this may help you: decluttering negative trapped emotions.
 
Trapped emotions cause pain, self-sabotage, emotional problems, as well as “the heart wall”.

 
The heart wall is an energetic wall surrounding our heart made of trapped emotions. It’s created by the Subconscious mind as a way to protect us from heartaches during stressful emotional events.
 
The problem is that the heart wall disturbs our ability to connect with and experience the feeling of love within us and from others.

Let go your emotional baggage so you can start afresh in your life, now!
 
Ready to liberate yourself from this debilitating situation?
Contact me to arrange your 30-minute (free of charge) Emotion Code VIRTUAL session where I will clear some trapped emotions from your body.
This opportunity is valid until June 30th 2020 and limited to 5 people.
See you soon!

 

Love,

Astuti

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Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 23 – Conscious Conflict – Kelly Brandli

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.” – Stephen R. Covey

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

On any given day, this is why relationship; especially romantic, is…. a lot of work. 

It requires efforts to understand each other continuously. Decoding what a person communicates is a life skill that one can always get better at.
Bringing together two (or more) people (each with their own “unique lenses” to see the world) is certainly not for the faint of hearts. 

 

The bottom line is when we say yes to relationship, we’re also saying yes to conflict.

No escape is the theme of 2020. It has enforced us to be more present  in our relationships, with fewer external distractions.

It’s been challenging for many. And it is okay to admit that it is. Facing people carrying a mirror in front of our face all day long is intense.  

Regardless, the situation ultimately presents an opportunity to accelerate your thought process to go for healthier choices. There are many amazing rewards, for sure!
 
The question that I’m raising in this podcast episode is HOW we can get the gift from something so permanent, pervasive and consistent in our relationship, like conflict is. We might as well, right?

Is it easy? Well…. it is do-able, with a good understanding about what is going on when there is a conflict. 

Come on over to join my discussion with Kelly Brändli, a Scientific Dating and Relationship Coach based in Switzerland.

Kelly, a much loved 2nd time guest in this channel (check out her previous episode Conscious Dating) and I are discussing in-depth what conflict is, what leads to it, what happens when it occurs, how to understand your spouse, and some practical tools to face conflict. You’ll also hear her speak about “gridlock” in a conflict, “couple bubble”, “managing Third”, micro cheating and jealousy.

Known as “the Dating After Divorce Coach”, Kelly is also a certified Matchmaker, who helps clients around the globe get back into the dating scene and find love again after divorce.

I’d say Kelly  is… a Love optimist with a strategy.

Hop in, invite your friends and join us!

Love,
Astuti

p.s. Kelly puts together a Conscious Conflict Quick Reference Guide to sum up what we discuss in the episode. Check it out.

 

 

Time stamp:

00:00               Welcome and introduction to Kelly Brändli, Dating and Relationship Coach and Certified Matchmaker, and what we will discuss: Framework to better understand your spouse, what conflict is and tools to implement to help facing conflicts.

05:30               What conflict is and what happens when conflict arises. Why conflict is important in a relationship and what is important to do when it arises. 4 areas that lead to conflicts.

19:45               Helpful technique to express needs in a relationship impactfully – the SSNA model

26:30               Relationship stages and cycle and how conflict plays an important role in it. What can happen when conflicts are not well attended. What can help you to reach the highest stage of the relationship to experience healthy and fulfilling relationship.

36:45               How to help yourself in increasing the chance to have healthier relationship.

38:50               Two types of problems in relationships, what a “gridlock” situation is in a relationship, what happens when gridlock is unresolved and recommendations on what to do when facing one.

43:20               Can all relationships be saved? Three levels of relationships

46:20               Ten disciplines to implement in building and nurturing a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships. A pact that you want to make with yourself to nurture trust in relationship.

53:08               “Couple bubble “concept to keep your relationship sacred and how to create it. Third parties in relationship. What micro-cheating is and what it does to your relationship.

57:20               Jealousy – what it is and how damaging it is in a relationship. Nature of trust.

1:01:00            How to get Conscious Conflict reference guide from this episode and closing.

To get the Conscious Conflict Quick Reference Guide, download it here: http://kellybrandli.com/upliftmylife

To get in touch with Kelly Brändli, connect with her via www.kellybrandli.com

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready experience a free of charge 30-minute virtual session to declutter divorce/break up – related trapped emotions.

Inputs, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #relationshipconflict #consciousconflict #grief #datingafterdivorce #consciousrelationship #rttworks #bodycode #emotioncode

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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Decluttering the grief-related trapped emotions

Do you feel these as you are experiencing a loss, a grief?

The tensions in your chest, the short breathe, the lump in your throat, the knot in your stomach, the foggy mind, the exhaustion and lethargic feelings in your body, the pain and ache deep in your heart, the fear, the anger, and all other emotions that linger for a long time?

 

 

These are caused by negative energies that are trapped in the body during stressful emotional events.

 

Because the body is made of pure energy, the negative energy of trapped emotions can exert a damaging force on the body, which usually worsens over time.

 

Trapped emotions cause pain, self-sabotage, emotional problems, burnout, all kinds of malfunction and disease, as well as “the heart wall”.

 

The heart wall is an energetic wall surrounding our heart made of trapped emotions. It’s created by the Subconscious mind as a way to protect us from heartaches during stressful emotional events.

 

This wall, however, is not meant to be a permanent part of us. It disturbs our natural ability to heal, to give and receive love and energy.

 

The heart wall also disturbs our ability to listen to our intuition, the most powerful embedded tool within us that serves as the most important GPS in our lives, especially in the time of change and crisis.

 

Let these trapped emotions go!

 

Ready to liberate yourself from this debilitating situation?

Contact me here to arrange your 30-minute (free of charge) Emotion Code VIRTUAL session where I will clear some trapped emotions from your body.

Offer is valid until May 31st 2020.

 

 

See you soon!

Love,

Astuti

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Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 22 – Facing Grief – Karin Hagelin

There is no transformation without facing and processing grief

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

This is my conclusion after contemplating decades of my own continuous growth.

I didn’t know this until I faced the grief I had, several actually.

 

Grief happens when we experience a sense of loss, beyond just death: loss of health, relationship, normality, freedom, status, position, job, power, basically anything that you have, you can lose.

 

When you choose to transform yourself, you will go through a grieving phase, for whatever it is you choose to part ways with, including your old self.

 

By now you may realise that I bring up many “heavy” topics into the podcast, like shame, vulnerability, limiting beliefs, dysfunctional relationships, a feeling of inadequacy, achievement addictions, decluttering, letting go, intuition, etc.

These are building blocks, fundamental and important ones, for a healthy and fulfilling life; an UPLIFTED life.

 

We, Go-getters, are driven individuals who really wish to make a positive dent in the world and also in our lives. Yet, the topics above are our blind spots a lot of the time. Grief is another important one.

“I don’t have time to grief”; “I must be strong for my family”; “Suck it up and move on”; “Feeling takes so much energy and time”; “I hate crying”; “I can’t be sad when I am still here”; are just some self-talk we have when facing grief.

 

I said all these and more to myself in the past. I didn’t know what this habit did to me, to my body, to my emotion, to my spirit. Until the sudden passing of my Dad in 2012 became the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 

I was down on my knee feeling unsure how to proceed with my life. My inner body collapsed; my blood pressure went through the roof. That was the beginning of my relationship with understanding and integrating grief in my life.

 

All of you reading this deserve to have the life that you desire and to grow in the way that you wish.

For that, get to know grief and integrate that into your life. It will un-stuck you, your life and your loved ones.

 

In this newest episode, join my conversation with Karin Hagelin on what grief is, how this shows up in your life, what the costs are when you’re not facing it, how to do it and how to support others in grief.

 

Karin was the person who helped me processed mine in 2013.

She is a Life Crisis Coach based in Zurich, Switzerland, who helps people from many countries manage grief, loss and trauma; get relief from stress and anxiety; release unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviour; and heal relationships.

 

 

 

Enjoy this episode, take all in, and share it with everyone you know.

Because… we’re all meant to grow.

 

Love,

Astuti

 

Timestamp:

00:00                   Welcome and introduction

10:15                   What grief is, the symptoms, what is required to face grief, and how we got disconnected from an in-built process to face grief in our cultures.

13:10                   What can trigger grief

19:40                   How grief manifests in our body and our feelings.

23:12                   What happens to our body when we grief.

26:45                   Symptoms to know when to start grieving, when to get help and how to grief together with others.

34:10                   How to support others who experience grief

40:33                   Signs that we are well in processing grief

45:18                   The costs of delaying or not processing grief

49:50                   How to face grief. Emergency tool to overcome unexpected overpowering grief emotion.

55:55                   Resources to use to support a grieving journey.

 

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready experience a free of charge 30-minute virtual session to declutter grief-related trapped emotions.
To get in touch with Karin Hagelin , connect with her via www.karinhagelin.ch
Inputs, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!
#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #grief #onlinegriefsupport #onlinegriefcounselling #onlinestressmanagementsupport #stressandanxietysupportonline #efttappingpractitioner

 

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 21 – Let’s demystify SHAME – Nena Martinez

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Don’t I know it.

In my mind, I almost died to realize it.

This was one of gifts that burnout gave me. Burnout brought out so much shame to the surface that I had to face them one-by-one.

 

I was and still am a Go-getter. There is a difference now, however.

 

Before burn out, Go-getter was my identity. I associated all of my self-worth with how much I achieved and grew. I pushed myself internally so much so that I didn’t need anyone from the outside to remind me to do more. I had a lot of people reminded me to slow down and rest instead.

 

After rising from burnout, I associate a smaller portion of who I am (I would not be honest if I say none) with achievements. I still enjoy learning, digging deep and implementing something new to uplift myself. I also still feel so connected with others when I am useful for them.

 

Yet, I also consciously make an effort to be more compassionate towards myself – to be kinder, more caring, more loving, more forgiving. It is a choice that I make on daily basis. Some days are better than others, which I must admit.

 

This is why I choose to bring SHAME as a topic into this podcast episode.

 

I had to face shame (and guilt) as I went on in my transformation process. It was a daunting journey.

Back then, I experienced how shame held me back from transforming.

These days, I witness how shame impacts my clients in the same way too.

 

When the feeling of stuck arises, usually there is shame underneath it.

If you really want to transform, you need to understand and face shame.

 

In this episode, Nena Martinez; who trained with Dr. Brené Brown in helping others understanding their shame triggers; and I are demystifying what shame is, what breeds it, what will happen when we’re not transmuting shame and also some tips on how to do that. We also discuss how it impacts the way we parent.

 

Based in Monterrey, Mexico, Nena facilitates workshops, consultations, and individual sessions where she explores themes like vulnerability, courage, compassion, shame, values, conscious parenting etc.

Take your time listening to this episode. Download it and keep it with you, as you will want to listen to this a number of times. Remember to share it with others too!
 
And most importantly, in it, you will find some tools to use. If you need further support from either Nena or myself, reach out to us.

 

With love,

Astuti

 

 

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Welcome

04:35     What shame is and how it manifests tangibly in our lives. Is shame that bad?

14:15      Can I still achieve and grow without shame?

20:35      What is Shame Resilience process?

24:30      How secrecy, judgment and silence breeds shame. What can dissolve shame.

26:45      What empathy and sympathy is and how they differ.

30:35      The difference between secret and silence. How we can show up in the best way for others who are sharing secrets.  

33:15     The cost of keeping secrets. What to consider before sharing a secret to others.

40:15      How to stop ourselves from judging.

42:10      Is shame facing influenced by culture? What are the costs of not letting shame go?

48:45      Why do we shame our kids so much as parents? What is parenting?

57:00      What we can be more mindful of when doing the role of parents.

1:01:05   Summary

1:02:15   How to get in touch with Nena Martinez and what support she can do for you.                        

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready to face and let go shame. The first 30 minutes coaching is free of charge.

Inputs, questions, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

To get in touch with Nena Martinez, connect with her here: Facebook, Instagram and LINKEDIN.

 

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #overcominginadequacy #intentionalliving #igniteyou #igniteyourlife #livingvulnerability #vulnerability #shame #guilt

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 20- Buka-bukaan tentang burnout (Indonesian language) – Dian Irawati

Go-getters Indonesia!

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

Mari bergabung dalam diskusi saya dengan Dian Irawati, buka-bukaan tentang masalah Burnout.

Kenapa ini penting buat kamu? Karena burnout adalah suatu resiko besar buat kamu-kamu yang ambisius dan driven. 

Apa benar begitu?

 

Silakan dengarkan episode podcast yang berbahasa (mainly) Indonesia ini, di mana kamu bisa lebih mengerti lebih dalam lagi apa burnout itu,  berbagai tahapan yang bisa diwaspadai sebelum burnout terjadi, dan bagaimana cari mencegah ataupun keluar dari burnout itu sendiri, kalo sudah terlanjur.

 

 Tamu saya kali ini adalah Dian Irawati, salah satu pendiri BOI Research Services, berbasis di Jakarta.

BOI menyediakan servis market research kepada berbagai perusahaan dan organisasi non-profit di Indonesia. 

 

Dian adalah seorang Go-Getter yang juga advokat untuk topik “Women empowerment”.  Wanita karir yang juga ibu dari 2 anak ini sangat tertarik untuk membahas dan mendalami berbagai topik yang bisa membantu dirinya maupun orang lain dalam membangun diri.

 

 

Kalian bisa subscribe di podcast channel ini, bertemu saya lewat www.upliftmylife.today atau astuti@upliftmylife.today.

 

Selamat mendengarkan!!

Love,

Astuti

 

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready to upgrade your beliefs about who you are. The first 30 minutes coaching is free of charge.

Inputs, questions, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #overcominginadequacy #intentionalliving #igniteyou #igniteyourlife 

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 19 – How vulnerability helps us become better leaders – Nena Martinez

“Is there anyone that does not need to navigate uncertainty and risk on a regular basis? To be alive is to be vulnerable; to be a leader is to be vulnerable every minute of the day.  You don’t get to opt out.”

– Dr. Brené Brown

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

 

What does a strong leadership entail? What’s your thought on that?

 

So many books and leadership theories answer this from many different angles.

I have a fair share of journey discovering what my definition is on this. I reflected it from both the eyes of one being led and one that leads.

 

For me, beyond managing resources in the wisest way possible to achieve the goals, leadership is essentially about empowerment – helping my team believe that they are powerful as they are, they are more than what they already know about themselves and to help them to trust that.

 

It’s about helping them to bridge their minds and their hearts through the allocated responsibilities they’ve agreed to take on.

I never believe that work is just about doing tasks and earning money. It’s more than that.

 

Work takes more than 35% of our breathing time during our productive years. It’s a missed opportunity when we are not using it to grow our heart and soul, in addition to our bank account and our physical wellbeing.

 

Ultimate strong leadership is always being attest during a time of crisis. It’s like a right of passage. One earns a stripe when s/he passes it.

Don’t get me wrong; there is no manual on how to deal with crisis. Mistakes are bound to happen as we face it. Crisis serves us well to accelerate the process of understanding our business and ourselves better.

 

I realize that team members need to feel safe and welcome to offer that to the team or the company. My role as the team leader is to create this safe space for them to do so. 

Safe place is KEY. It is a place where they feel safe to take risks and expose themselves in an intent to support the greater, knowing that they have no control over the outcome.

It’s a place where they choose trust over doubt, so they can be a part of something so much bigger than they individually are.

 

For 2 years, Google did a study on 180 teams to understand what makes the most successful team. They concluded that these teams shared 5 traits:

  1. Dependability
  2. Structure and clarity
  3. Meaning
  4. Impact
  5. Psychological Safety

Thank you, Google, for validating my experience.

Now that we know all this, where we do we start?

 

It starts with us first.

What can help us feeling safe in ourselves as a team leader and how to create that safety for the people we work with?

Join my discussion with Nena Martinez in this new podcast episode about how vulnerability helps us become better leaders.

This is the 2nd part of our 2 parts episode about vulnerability and how it helps us in our lives.

 

 Nena is the first Latin America’s Certified “Daring Way” Facilitator and Case Consultant as well as a Public Speaker.

She trained with Dr. Brené Brown to help herself and others understand their shame triggers, the power of being vulnerable, and living a compassionate and courageous life.

How can she not be courageous when she is also a wife and a mother of 8-year-old triplets in addition to taking on a role to help others?

 

Based in Monterrey, Mexico, Nena facilitates workshops, consultations, and individual sessions where she explores themes like vulnerability, courage, compassion, shame, values, conscious parenting etc.
 
Both Nena and I feel strongly that sharing reflections in a form of stories is powerful.

Have a great time listening, getting ideas and sharing with others!
 
Love,
Astuti

p.s. The previous episode is about how vulnerability can help us overcome a sense of inadequacy.

 

Timestamp:

00:00     Welcome

03:23     How to use our vulnerability in leading others.

11:33     Examples how integrating vulnerability help us to earn more respect from others.

25:45     Symptoms in our behaviour when we operate from a place of love or fear or shame and what we can do about it.

30:10     How vulnerability and burnout strongly correlates.

33:44     What is boundary and having this helps us free ourselves to be authentic.

38:16     Three things you can take away from this episode to help you to become a good manager and leader.

 

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready to integrate vulnerability into your life. The first 30 minutes coaching is free of charge.

Inputs, questions, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

To get in touch with Nena Martinez, connect with her here:
 Facebook and Instagram and LINKEDIN.

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #overcominginadequacy #intentionalliving #igniteyou #igniteyourlife #livingvulnerability #vulnerability #shame #becomingyou #becomingme #becomingaleader

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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Uplift My Life Today Podcast – Ep. 18 – How vulnerability helps overcoming inadequacy – Nena Martinez

 

(You can also listen to this podcast from iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and RadioPublic)

Once a go-getter, always a go-getter.

Is it true? 

I think this can be true. Having said this, there are many different ways to go and get things done, to grow, to expand.

For many Go-getters, however, vulnerability doesn’t feel like an ally in achieving and growing more. We often believe that brainpower and physical strength suffice. 

That was me, many years ago. 

I grew and achieved relying on my logical mind and physical strength – endurance on both for a long period of time.

Vulnerability was something that I was very uncomfortable with. I didn’t know what it was exactly, but something that I perceived to be an energy drainer.

My mind equated vulnerability with feeling emotions then, and feeling my feelings took a lot of energy and time, that I’d rather spend on doing, taking actions, fixing, and solving something.

During this period, I was confused when anyone would tell me something like “Just be… stop doing”. I remember feeling frustrated for not understanding what “just be,” means.

Then, burnout happened.

Fast forward 2 years after the burnout, my physical body was fit that I started the journey to heal the wounds in my subconscious mind that unconsciously led me to burnout.

I realized during this process what vulnerability is. I wouldn’t be able to heal without allowing my heart to open so I could access what I needed to heal, to let go, to be kind to myself, and to forgive. That was quite a journey to do.

More importantly, I realized that the disconnection between my body, my mind and my soul that got my body to crash down at the end of 2008 was due to my fear to allow myself to be vulnerable.

 

This was the starting point of it all for me.

Many things happened, like a domino effect, after I muted the messages coming from my heart and my body to me during the time of peak growth.

If there is anything I can offer to you today is information about what vulnerability is and how it is actually an ally for all of us, Go-Getters, in showing up as who we choose to be, in a way that is healthy and sustainable.

In these 2 new podcast episodes, I’m joined by Nena Martinez to discuss how vulnerability helps us to overcome a sense of inadequacy (episode 18) and to become better leaders (episode 19).

Nena is the first Latin America’s Certified “Daring Way” Facilitator and Case Consultant as well as a Public Speaker.

She trained with Dr. Brené Brown to help herself and others understand their shame triggers, the power of being vulnerable, and living a compassionate and courageous life.

How can she not be courageous when she is also a wife and a mother of 8-year-old triplets in addition to taking on a role to help others!

Based in Monterrey, Mexico, Nena facilitates workshops, consultations, and individual sessions where she explores themes like vulnerability, courage, compassion, shame, values, conscious parenting etc.
 
Both Nena and I believe in the power of story telling. We hope what we share can help you becoming an UPLIFTED Go-getter that you can be. And please, spread this information further

 
Love,
Astuti

p.s. Episode 19 about how vulnerability can help us become better leaders will come out in 10 days time.

 

Time stamp:

00:00    Welcome

03:40    Introduction and getting to know Nena Martinez, Certified Daring Way Facilitator and Case Consultant, and her journey in living her life integrating vulnerability.

10:45    What is vulnerability? What is NOT vulnerability? How to integrate this into our live.

16:45    Is it important to be mindful about who we allow ourselves to feel vulnerable with? How do I know I choose the right person?

26:05    Practically, what is vulnerability?    

36:10    Is it considered vulnerability if we are keeping our own feelings to ourselves, and not to others?

38:00    How to build up our vulnerability’s muscles – some tips.

41:00    How to differentiate a genuine vulnerability and one that keeping others in a victim role. How do I feel the difference?

 

Set up an appointment here when you’re ready to integrate vulnerability into your life. The first 30 minutes coaching is free of charge.

Inputs, questions, feedback or suggestion for topics – write me at astuti@upliftmylife.today. Thanks!

To get in touch with Nena Martinez, connect with her here:
 Facebook and Instagram and LINKEDIN.

 

#upliftmylifetoday #risefromburnout #intentionallife #overcominginadequacy #intentionalliving #igniteyou #igniteyourlife #livingvulnerability #vulnerability #shame #becomingyou #becomingme #becomingaleader

 

Copyrights etc.:

Music used in this Episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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