For the ones who never fully fit, but always moved forward anyway.

– A living transmission by Astuti Martosudirdjo

 

If you felt drawn to open this, it’s likely because something inside you already knows something about you that is ready to be named.

Maybe you’ve already named yourself a Trailblazer.

Or maybe… you’re only just beginning to realize that the way you’ve moved through life – the visions you hold, the resistance you’ve met, the paths you’ve quietly carved – are signs of something deeper.

Whether you know it clearly or feel it quietly…

This transmission is for the Trailblazer in you – the seen and the still-hidden. The empowered and the questioning. The celebrated and the misunderstood.

You are accomplished, but something feels off.
You are respected, but it feels like parts of you had to disappear to get here.
You have succeeded within systems, but your soul aches for something more honest.

You’re not alone.

There is nothing wrong with you, let me assure you.

What you experience is the tender truth of carrying a trailblazing frequency in a world that has not yet remembered how to receive it.

 

What is the Trailblazing Frequency?

You might wonder – why call it a frequency?

Trailblazing is not just a mindset. It’s not a personality trait.

It’s something you are – in your body, in your choices, in the way you walk through life.

Imagine you are a vehicle, designed with a unique inner GPS.

You don’t always know the destination, but you feel the direction.

That GPS sends signals – not through maps, but through sensation: a nudge when something feels off, a pull when something lights you up, a quiet knowing that says, “This is your way.”

 

This inner GPS lives in your body.

It is your Core Self: the original part of you that holds your deepest truth.

It often speaks through intuition, felt in your chest, your gut, your breath, the tension or openness in your nervous system and through dreams.

It’s the soft tension before a no. The inner lift before a yes.

The subtle pull that doesn’t explain itself, but keeps returning until you respond.

You don’t need to explain it. You just need to honor it.

 

The Trailblazing Frequency is one of those signals. It doesn’t shout; it hums instead.

The more you trust it, the more natural your movement becomes.

It is a subtle signal you are always tuning into, whether you’ve named it or not.

This signal doesn’t come from outside you. It is emitted by the core part of who you are. It’s your inner GPS, guiding you through truth, alignment, and possibility.

The Trailblazing Frequency is the invisible current that guides how you lead, create, and move even when the world doesn’t understand it yet.

Trailblazing frequency is not about being loud, rebellious, or constantly pushing boundaries.

It’s a deep inner knowing – a core part of who you are – that knows, deep down, you are here to do things differently.

It whispers: “There is another way.” Even when others praise the current way. Even when the systems reward your conformity.

You may carry this frequency in innovation, in subtle truth-telling, in the way you build what didn’t exist before.

You may carry it in how you lead, speak, create, walk away, or stay when others expect you to leave.

This energy doesn’t need to be big to be real.

You don’t choose to carry the trailblazing frequency. It chooses you. When you stop resisting it, you realize it’s the easiest way to be who you really are.

 

The contradiction you’ve been living

Many of you who carry this frequency are in high-functioning, successful, or leadership roles. And yet, you feel split.

“I lead well, but I don’t feel free”. “I’m seen, but not fully understood nor met”. “I’m at the top, but not myself”.

You may tell yourself you should be grateful. And you are but you are also tired.

You are exhausted and sitting in inner conflict without realizing it because you’ve had to hide your essence to keep being rewarded.

This is not personal failure. This is the world’s delayed recognition of who you really are.

Now, the frequency within you is rising. You can’t suppress it anymore. You’re being called into wholeness.

 

An invitation to Wholeness

You don’t have to walk away from your role but you do have to walk toward your truth and bring it with you.

The way you lead, create, and vision doesn’t have to match the models you were trained in.
The path you’re called to carve is not a rejection of your past – it’s a homecoming.

You’re not difficult. You’re not discontented. You’re not scattered.
You’re a Trailblazer who hasn’t been mirrored clearly.

Until now.

Naming this – seeing it – is not self-indulgence. It is self-liberation.

 

A moment to feel

Take a breath.

Feel for the part of you that always knew you were different. Not for ego. Not for rebellion. The truth is you came carrying a blueprint the world hasn’t seen yet.

This is the truth about you, still here, never left and is waiting for your permission to lead.

 

A mirror for your next step

I invite you to take the Trailblazer Frequency Quiz: a simple and powerful mirror to help you name how this essence is currently moving through you.

👉🏽 Take the Trailblazer Frequency Quiz

It’s not about putting you in a box. It’s about helping you recognize your power without apology.

You are also welcome to listen to the audio transmission – The Tender Truth of Living The Trailblazing Frequency:  a gentle activation to support what awakens when the remembering begins. You may receive it through watching the video transmission or listening to the downloadable audio transmission.

 

From my heart to yours…

You are not too much. You are not late. You are not lost.

You are remembering your way forward.

You don’t need to be fixed. You just need to return to the truth you’ve always carried.

The path is not new. It’s yours. You are closer than you think.

With love,

Astuti

 

P.s. Please share this with someone in your circles who would breathe deeper remembering themselves within this perspective. Thank you!

 

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

 

✨ Beneath the Surface: The Hidden Depths of Transformation Unfolding Within You ✨

 

“The strength you seek is already unfolding within you — gently, bravely, in perfect time.”

 

Transformation calls to us with the promise of a new life — and it delivers.
Just not in the way we expect.

Whether you’re trailblazing a new path or learning to finally choose yourself after years of overgiving, transformation isn’t just a mindset shift.

It’s a full on wholistic experience: mind-heart-body- soul. Why? Because every part of us is connected.

And, much of what it asks of you happens quietly, invisibly, beneath the surface.

 

Here are four hidden depths of transformation we rarely talk about:

 

🌸 1. The Loss of Familiar Safety

The survival strategies that once kept you “safe” — e.g. overgiving, overcontrolling, self-sacrificing, etc — begin to dissolve.

At first, this feels terrifying.

Before transformation, many of us anchor our safety into things outside of ourselves:

• Approval from others.
• Familiar roles and identities.
• Systems and structures that promise belonging or stability.
• Endurance and loyalty to what we know, even if it costs us our joy.
• The belief that maintaining harmony and meeting others’ needs guarantees safety.

In my own journey, my safety was once rooted in being the bridge — the one who absorbed fears, anticipated needs, and kept peace around me.
I thought if I could hold everything and everyone together, I would be safe. This is why I put the needs of others before my own for years.

As I transformed, I anchored into something deeper: my connection to Source, my soul, and the knowing that I am my own safe place. I no longer survive by stabilizing others. I live by standing rooted in my own truth.

When transformation calls, these external anchors loosen.
And what once felt safe — staying small, being needed, pleasing others, etc — begins to feel heavy and hollow.

True safety is no longer found outside you.
It is rooted within you: in your sovereignty, your soul, your connection to Source and Life itself.
It is a shift from surviving through others to living from your own truth.

 

🌸 2. Your Body is Not a Bystander – It’s the Container, Messenger, and Guide of Your Transformation

Your body is at the forefront of your integration, not an afterthought.
It is where your transformation becomes real, and it will experience discomfort along the way.

• Your skin may become more sensitive or dry as your energy recalibrates — a sign that your body is adjusting to new frequencies.
• Your reproductive organs may experience discomfort, ask for gentler care, or even feel more sensitive as you reclaim sovereignty and pleasure.
• Your nervous system may become overstimulated or unsettled, affecting your response to sound, touch, intimacy, and even clothing.
• Your skeletal system may ache, break, or realign as old energetic imprints clear — this is a natural process of releasing what no longer serves.
• Your eyes may become more sensitive as your perception deepens, making the world feel sharper or even overwhelming at times.
• Your ears may experience discomfort due to energetic recalibration affecting the inner ear structures, which can lead to vertigo. This is a reminder that the body is shifting deeply, and rest may be required to integrate the changes.
• Your heart may open, expand, or feel vulnerable as it adjusts to deeper emotional truths. This may manifest physically as tightness in the chest or heart palpitations as emotional energy recalibrates.
• Your brain may feel foggy, overstimulated, or tired as it processes the new ways of perceiving the world and self. This can show up as forgetfulness, difficulty focusing, or a temporary lack of mental clarity. These are signs that your brain is recalibrating to integrate the shifts you’re undergoing.
• Your digestion may shift as your body processes new energies, requiring more or less nourishment.
• Your sleep may fluctuate, leaving you restless or tired as your body recalibrates to new cycles.
• Your hormones may feel out of balance as your body processes the physical and emotional shifts of transformation.

Transformation requires us to treat our bodies as sacred vessels, not machines to push through change.
While discomfort is a natural part of the process, it signals that your body is adjusting.

Get the right medical support when necessary and provide the care your body needs.

Slow down, be gentle, rest when necessary, and trust that it’s all part of the journey. When you feel fitter and ready, keep going — but always honor the pace of your body.

Caring for your body’s needs is not weakness; it is the wisdom that supports your transformation with grace and compassion.

 

🌸 3. Neutrality and Freedom Feel Strange at First

Peace can feel empty when you are used to chaos.
Freedom can feel lonely when you are used to being needed.
Joy can feel unsafe when you are used to earning love through sacrifice.

Give yourself time to trust the new life you are building.

 

🌸 4. Money is a Mirror In Your Transformation

Transformation is often about facing our fears — and money is one of the most potent triggers. During transformation, you may find that money fluctuates: for some, it may seem to decrease, while for others, it may increase.

The disappearance or constriction of money can trigger deep fears — but this is a chance to face them, transmute them, and redefine your relationship with abundance.

For some, more money may surface, but it often comes with its own triggers. This can include feelings of overwhelm or responsibility, self-doubt about whether they deserve it, or even fear about how other people will perceive them or losing it.

These emotions can create a sense of panic or fear, which might tempt them to want to stop the process of transformation altogether.

When money decreases, recognize that this shift is not a reflection of your worth or a punishment. It is simply part of the energetic shifts you are undergoing, designed to help you let go of old fears and step into a new understanding of true abundance.

These fluctuations in money are not setbacks, but opportunities for growth, self-awareness, and the reclaiming of your own power.

 

Transformation is not a clean, linear upgrade.
It is messy. Organic. Cellular. A whole-being rebirth.

If you are grieving, recalibrating, tending to your tender body and heart — you are not broken.
You are transforming exactly as you are meant to.
You are becoming the ground you will one day dance on.

Transformation is inevitable.

If you are standing at the edge of your next becoming — unsure, hesitant, wondering if you are ready — know this:
Transformation will surprise you.
It will stretch you.
It will break open parts of you you didn’t even know were closed.
And it will gift you a life that is more real, more joyful, more alive than you can yet imagine.
You don’t have to be fearless.
You only have to be willing.
Start anyway.
The life that is calling you is worth everything it will ask of you.

And when you need, supports are available. No need to go through this alone when you don’t wish to.

If this speaks to where you are on your journey, I’d love to hear from you:
✨ What hidden depth of transformation have you experienced?

Feel free to share your reflections — you are not alone. 🌸

With love,
🌿 Astuti

 

 

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time.”

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

 

It seems my article on the kitchen conflict with my husband resonated with a number of readers.  It turns out that we’re not the only couple having a kitchen conflict.

So I asked myself why does the kitchen generate so much conflict?

 

My theory is to do with the kitchen being the heart of the home.

In times gone past, the kitchen was the domain of the women in the house.  It’s where our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers ruled. They may not have had the financial power, but they provided food for their families from the kitchen.

They decided how to use the money that they were given (in most cases) and what to buy, cook and how and generally the men didn’t interfere, as they were out earning the money and the kitchen was seen as the women’s area.

 

Even today, when a woman goes into another woman’s kitchen there is an unspoken understanding that this is her domain and as a guest one defers to the hostess. It’s a sign of respect / hierarchy and is never discussed, but implicitly understood amongst women. For example, my mother in law in my kitchen will ask me if she can help and if yes, how exactly she can help. For example, if I want the carrots cut and how- diced or sliced.  I do the same in her kitchen.

 

Back in my kitchen, my husband wanted to help but was not aware of all the unspoken “rules” or the underlying “hierarchy” that existed. He would come in and not ask how I wanted the carrots cut and do it his way.

He would then get annoyed if I told him I wanted them cut a particular way as he wanted the freedom to do as he has wished. He thought I was being bossy. I got annoyed as I wanted the carrots a certain way as that was how it was meant to be. 

 

The real issue however was much deeper. I got upset because he hadn’t done what another woman would do. He hadn’t respected my position in the kitchen.

For him the kitchen was a communal space. For me it was MY kitchen.

This was all going on subconsciously without awareness on our parts, and it went on for years. At the time, I just thought I want the carrots like this, and he’s not cooperative.

It was only after many years, when I started to dig deeper to understand what was really going on, that I understood the dynamics that were playing out and the underlying beliefs associated with them.

 

What I’m sharing is based on my experience. Yours may be different.

Maybe you feel like you’re more easygoing and your partner is the one who gets stressed and why can’t they just relax a bit more.  Whatever the case may be, if there is any sort of conflict or heightened emotions causing the kitchen atmosphere to get tense, it’s worth asking yourself the following:

1. What does the kitchen mean to you (and your partner)?
2. What role do you each play in the kitchen?
3. What is it about your partner’s behaviour or action that you find triggering? “He cut the carrots wrong” or “She is so controlling”
4. What meaning are you attaching to this behaviour / action? “He doesn’t listen” or “I’m an adult, it’s my kitchen too”
5. What is the underlying belief you have about yourself as a result? This can be a rich source of exploration if you dig deeper. “He doesn’t listen. No one listens to me” or “I can’t get things right”

 

Once you become more aware of your beliefs, you can start to let them go if they no longer serve. There are many ways to do this, for example with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), journalling or working with a therapist.

 

On a side note, I am currently studying astrology. Learning about the planetary placements in my astrological chart it’s no wonder why I have had this conflict in my life. It seemed almost destined to happen.

Over the years, there have been much frustration, anger and sadness associated with it, and also many opportunities for my growth and learning, which I can now say I am grateful for. 

 

I hope you found this helpful and may peace enter into your kitchens. If you have any feedback, I’d love to hear it.

– Julie

 

Click here for a free discovery call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

 

 

Sneak peek for the episode:

 

Full episode:

 

 

Eat, Pray, (Self) Love.

Inilah yang terlintas di pikiran saya setelah merekam podcast “Love Wins!” bersama Widy Dinarti.

 

Perjalanan Widy dalam episode ini (episode dua bahasa – Bahasa Indonesia dan Inggris) adalah kisah pencerahan spiritual yang lahir dari tragedi.

 

Kecelakaan bus di Kenya tanggal 31 Agustus 2011 ini merenggut nyawa teman baiknya, Elmer Pérez Requiz (Rest in Love, Elmer). Saat itu, Elmer duduk di kursi yang dia reserve untuk Widy. Karena terlambat masuk ke bus, Widy duduk di beberapa baris di depan Elmer- dan selamat, tanpa cedera yang serius. Tapi Elmer… meninggal.

 

Sejak kejadian itu, ia bersumpah untuk hidup autentik. Widy merasa hidupnya adalah kehidupan pinjaman dari Elmer.

 

Saat itulah Widy memulai proses transformasi (termasuk healing) yang terus berjalan sampai sekarang.

 

Di tengah prosesnya, ia menemukan bahwa ADHD telah membebaninya sejak kecil, menyebabkan burnout yang tak disadari. Ia juga menyembuhkan luka batin dengan ayahnya, membebaskan dirinya dari belenggu lama.

 

Takdir mempertemukan kami di tahun 2016, saat ia pertama kali mendengar tentang burnout ketika saya menjadi salah satu pembicara di suatu acara di Jakarta. Saat itulah, Widy memutuskan untuk menjalankan sesi hipnoterapi dengan saya.

 

Perjalanan ini berlanjut, ketika saya membantu Widy kembali empat tahun kemudian (tahun 2020), setelah ayahnya meninggal.

 

Proses yang membutuhkan waktu dan komitmen ini mengupas banyak lapisan jati  dirinya satu persatu, membuatnya semakin terhubung dengan jati diri sejatinya, termasuk bakat-bakatnya yang terpendam.

 

Saya yakin, Elmer tersenyum bahagia dari surga untuk Widy hari ini, merangkul peran kepemimipinannya dengan caranya yang autentik.

 

Dengarkan kisah penuh makna ini di YouTube & Spotify: YouTube and Spotify.

 

 

 

Semoga ini dapat menginspirasi Anda untuk hidup merasa bebas dan autentik 🙏💖

With love,

Astuti

 

 

 

Click here for a free discovery call with me: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about my self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

Copyrights, etc.: Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory

 

 

 

Sneak peek for the episode:

 

Full episode:

 

Jourdan Hussein is a poster child of an ambitious, successful go-getter.

 

With multiple degrees from world-renowned universities (Stanford University, University of Oxford, Wesleyen University), work experiences in reputable international organizations, and The President’s Delivery Unit for Development Monitoring and Oversight of the Republic of Indonesia, Jourdan had much to be proud of.

 

Yet, for years, his heart longed for something else, and these are not the definitions of success in the path he was on. He longed to experience peace, kindness and gentleness beyond success. He had to create another path that allowed him to grow, build, and impact others, care for himself, and experience peace, kindness and gentleness.

 

Our paths crossed in 2019 when one of his friends, who was also a client, recommended that he reach out to me for support.

At the time, Jourdan was amidst an intensive transformation period as he chose to face his deep, hidden fears to expand his leadership capacity. He was on a quest to find out why he felt compelled to achieve so much in his life yet felt less than loved and enough regardless.

 

Through our shared journey, I witnessed his commitment and dedication to showing up in his life authentically and choosing love no matter what. His journey was intense, to say the least. One that I’ve seen people would quit for or not even started.

 

Growing up in a traditional Muslim family in Indonesia, the path he was expected to live was strictly laid out. There was no room for him to embrace his true self as an LGBTQIA+ member.

Yet, Jourdan realized that the only way to feel fulfilled is to create a life where he honours himself as his authentic self.

 

This episode is Jourdan’s “Love Wins!” story about his journey in UNLEARNING the societal expectations he once had abided to TRAILBLAZE a path for authenticity. He chooses to live and contribute to the world from a place of love.

 

Please join us in this engaging and reflective conversation on YouTube and Spotify.

 

May this inspire you to choose fulfilment and love for and in your life. 

Enjoy 💖🙏

With love,

Astuti

 

Click here for a free discovery call with me: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about my self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

 

Copyrights, etc.: Music used in this episode: “On My Way” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

 

#LifeCoach #SubconsciousReprogramming #Transformation #UpliftMyLifeToday #AWE #LoveWins #AuthenticWealth #Authentic #Love #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalSelfLove #SoulfulSexuality #Authenticity #Freedom #Belonging #Wealth #Money #Embodiment #AncestralTrauma #SystemicHealing #Selflove #AstutiMartosudirdjo#Inspiration #Podcast #UpliftingStory