The Truth Of Being A Trailblazer

“My body is warm again now”.

My client shared this with me as I asked her to close her eyes and say: “I am a trailblazer”.

Our soul lands in our body when truth is spoken.
It roots deeper in our body when an aligned action is taken.
This was one of those moments.

I’ve been supporting my beautiful client for a number of years now to reclaim and live her authentic self.
It started from burnout recovery some years back and she has gone through cycles of coming home courageously and taking bold actions to stay in alignment with her inner world.

A few months ago, some important things in her life ended. Such experiences always bring hidden gifts packaged in challenges.

Following this set of endings, she felt so much grief, disconnection, lethargy and exhaustion.
She met these gracefully, applying what she has learnt over the years to move through them.

Until one day she felt she needed support.
She could not stop the resistance to do even the simplest things.
A feeling of not being in her body – “It feels empty” – and her fear of being in the liminal space: “I can’t connect to my old self but I am not sure what I am becoming either”.

As we sat together in her session, I sensed a truth needed to be spoken.
I asked her to say: “I am a trailblazer”.

She did and her body responded instantly and clearly.
Her soul started to land back in her body. Her body was filling up again, and warmth entered.

She was shocked. “I heard this word before many times but did not feel connected to it”. As I helped her understand how holding this frequency shows up in one’s life, she confirmed many of them as her own experiences since she was a child.
Then grief rose up… and now we knew why.

“Go ahead, it is okay to say it!”
“F*******k”…

There was no other appropriate word for what came through in this moment.

It was the beginning of a realisation that changes how she sees her life from then on and consequently will change the way she connects with herself and life.
This was one of the most important “clicks“ she had in her life as this is so foundational.

“I need time to let this land”.
This is exactly what she has been doing since – letting this truth take its natural time to land and root in her body, because it changes everything. There is no deadline, just enough space and time.

A few days after, I received a voice memo with a wonderful update.
She has been more active in doing things she really enjoys. She is also still meeting the grief but with a different tone this time.

This reaction is not a surprising one to witness.
Many people who truly hold this frequency in their body do not claim to be one.

I did not either… until I started to understand myself at the depth that has been unfolding over the last six years.

I did not know that trailblazer is a soul design. A frequency.
And yes, I am a trailblazer by soul design.

The trailblazer as a role and the trailblazer as a soul design (these are not the same thing)

The most common understanding of trailblazer is of it as a role, function, or ambition.
It is usually attached to bold entrepreneurs, visible leaders, people who consciously choose to disrupt.
It is about what they do. It is externally visible, often celebrated, and consciously chosen.

The trailblazer as a soul design is different.
It is not about what they do. It is not about visibility, disruption, or a conscious choice to lead.
It is about what they are and how their soul moves through life.

The trailblazer soul carries a frequency they were born with.
It was not developed through ambition or cultivated through practice.

It was already there, in the child who felt things others didn’t feel, who knew things before the evidence existed, who sensed a truth in their body while no one else around them could see or feel it, who was surrounded by many people but did not feel met fully by others.

Underneath the sensitivity and the inner knowing, this soul carries something even deeper : “A living memory” of a truer way of being, of loving, of building, of relating, of connecting that feels true and natural to them than the current world allows, permits, respects, supports, incentivies, rewards, or protects.

The soul of trailblazer frequency brings with it a blueprint for a love-rooted way of living that is older than how the world works generally today. It is what they carry forward.

These souls are not here to impose or preach this remembrance.
They are here to embody the love-rooted blueprint in their own unique life that it offers a remembrance and “permission” for others to live what their soul carries.

This trailblazer soul was designed “to go first”, to walk where internal maps don’t yet exist. They certainly are not meant to fit in.
They are often meant to feel what is coming before “it” arrives. Like a weather forecaster 😄

The trailblazer souls are here to outgrow what is not aligned. This is not synonymous with fighting what is not aligned.

They may outgrow the existing systems, the structures, the inherited and absorbed ways of working, relating and measuring worth that were built on fear, performance, scarcity, and separation.

These are not rebelled against. There is no fighting against, perse.
They are to be outgrown. Naturally. Inevitably.
The way a tree outgrows a pot that was never the right size.

This soul does not choose to be a trailblazer the way someone chooses a career path.
The frequency is simply what they are. They are born it.

The trail that forms behind them is a natural consequence of living authentically, not an obligation to fulfil, not a performance of pioneering.

The way this frequency is lived looks different for every soul who carries it.

Some move through visible leadership: in organisations, communities, movements, etc.
Some are through building – literal building, platform, concepts, way of life, anything.

Some work in solitary: writing, holding space, planting, attending animals, working with nature, anything.
They exist in a way that shifts what is possible around them.

Some are raising children, tending relationships, recoding family lines from the inside.

There is no hierarchy between these expressions.
All of them are the same frequency, living itself through different forms.

Most people who carry this frequency do not recognise themselves consciously in the word

Let me share some of what this soul may recognise in themselves (there are many more than these):

• They feel perpetually ahead. They see what others don’t, often told “you are ahead of your time” and have felt the depth of loneliness that comes with being “ahead”.
• They have a sense of something they are here to do as a pressure from inside. A pull. A persistent feeling that life as it is currently defined or structured does not fully contain them. That something is incoherent, off, or does not feel right. That there is another way.
• They are the ones who have spent years making themselves smaller, dimmer, edited, or silent so the people around them could be comfortable.
• They learned early that being fully visible creates friction.
• They carry a knowing they have been dismissed for, gaslit around, called too much or too sensitive or too certain about.
• They have a lingering exhaustion of knowing many things before others catch up.
• They have the grief of naturally choosing path that is more “difficult”. The grief of seeing something so clearly in a space that is not yet ready to see with them.
• They experience the exhaustion of numbing parts of themselves so they can live with the fact that others can only meet them partially .
• They also have the suppressed resentment from convincing themselves that what is available must be enough when it is truthfully not.
• Quietly, they carry the deep self-judgment, guilt, regret and resentment of “I did this to myself”; “It is my fault”; “Maybe I am a mistake”. These are the harshest of them all because they silently perpertrate themselves for what they are.

They carry all of this without understanding why they experience what they do in silence; wishing at times that life could be much simpler.

“Why can’t I make my life simpler and easier?”.

My invitation for you

As you read this, please pay attention to what stirs in you.
Maybe you feel “Ah, this is me” right away.
Maybe not.
Maybe you even resist what you read.

My invitation is simple.

Read what I share here and notice what happens in your body.
Let your heart and your body be the main receivers, not your mind.
Pay attention to whether something in you recognises itself: a warmth, a settling, a breath of relief.

Perhaps grief will rise.
When a truth this fundamental begins to land in your body, it doesn’t only liberate. It also brings into the surface everything that was lived in its absence.

Both are the frequency speaking.

If something in you is stirring, even so subtly, let it be.
It is a seed of remembrance being planted. It may take its time to fully land in your body.

For my client, she had heard the word many times before. It landed that morning in the session because her body was ready to receive it as truth.

For me, it was in my forties when I came to terms with the fact I had been carrying the trailblazer frequency my whole life. I finally could embrace it as my soul design and to surrender to it while meeting the grief.

There is no need to rush.

When this truth lands in your body, even partially, it begins to change things in you.

It offers a perspective that shifts what you allow yourself to be – to stop apologising for being you, to stop waiting for permission to unfold you, to stop talking yourself out of it.
It is the beginning of your home coming.

This frequency has always been there. It will still be there when you are ready.

An audio transmission to accompany you

If you feel something as you read this, I have a companion for you.

The Tender Truth of Living the Trailblazer Frequency is an audio transmission that speaks directly to your nervous system, letting go of the vigilance that builds when you have spent years moving first, in spaces that were not always ready for you.

My field will hold you as you bypass the mind and anchor safety directly into your body.

After receiving it, you may notice a softening of tension in your body, an emotional steadiness, a relief from the pressure of explaining yourself to others, and a sense that you are not alone anymore.

On Spotify: The Tender Truth of Living The Trailblazer Frequency

On Insight Timer: The Tender Truth of Living The Trailblazer Frequency

You can return to it as often as you need.

Let the trailblazer frequency take you back home to yourself.

In the coming weeks, I will be sharing more from what I experienced and what I witnessed in my clients about what it means to live this frequency – the wounds it carries, the wholeness it is returning to, and what the journey of coming home may actually look like.

Stay connected.

With love,

Astuti

💛💜

If this transmission nourished you and you feel moved to offer a gift in return, you are welcome to: offer a gift · share this sanctuary

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time”

P.S. Ready to live your true wealth? Explore Authentic Wealth Embodiment (AWE) here: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/the-authentic-wealth-embodiment-program

Click here for a free Clarity call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

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