It’s time.

Hello!

I smile deeply as I write this to you.
My Soul always speaks gently and with precision, sometimes in an unexpected moment. This sharing came as a whisper after a meeting last week with my new insurance agent.

It was an unusual meeting. What I thought would be wrapped up in 30 minutes became 90 minutes. We were both immersed in one surprising topic: my journey to where I am today in my work, starting from my burnout in 2008. At some point, Tom said, “This is like a therapy session for me.”

What stood out for me in this discussion was his recognition: “You have always been doing something unusual that many people do not see. I understand what you are doing, but it is so uncommon that I couldn’t even repeat it back to you.”
I remember saying to him, “Tom, this is the story of my life. It happens all the time.”

On my way home, I felt that something profound had happened. I felt witnessed. In that tender moment, I heard my Soul whisper, “It’s time.” I knew exactly what she meant.

From now on, supporting Trailblazer souls is the core of my work.
I am one, and I want to dedicate my energy to supporting my soul family.

Since I was young, I have felt a pull to be useful to others and to help things change for the better. My father lived this way. My grandfathers did too. In their own ways, they showed me that we are here to uplift not only ourselves, but others too. This has been the tune of my existence for as long as I can remember.

At the same time, I always felt somehow out of place, except when I was with my late father.
From around the age of 10, I questioned why life did not make sense to me, why it did not add up. I was often frustrated because I could not express what I perceived, and most people did not perceive it at all. So I kept myself partly hidden, from myself and from others. My depth of knowing felt like a burden to carry. I opened it only every now and then, to myself and to my father.

I know now that my father was a Trailblazer soul too. He encouraged me to explore every avenue I could find to answer my questions. Now I can see that his presence in my life was to help me remember who and what I am.

In December 2008, the same drive that gave my life meaning ran me into the ground. I burned out, and it took me two and a half years to rise back.

Since then, I have been living with two questions.

Why have I carried these niggling feelings since I was young, and how have they shaped my decisions? And how do I keep doing what I love without depleting myself again?

The first answer I found was that my need to be useful had been shaped by trauma. Being useful was how I secured my safety. That is what drove me past my limits and into burnout.

Healing this became part of The Return to Ease, the workbook where I share how I transformed my way of being, so I could live from ease instead of strain.

Yet the deepest answer came later, and it surprised me. Underneath the trauma was something much older. The pull to be useful and to uplift others was never only a way to stay safe.

It was my soul design. I am a Trailblazer soul.

Trauma shaped how I lived that pull. It did not create it.

When I began writing down what this means, I understood myself in a way I never had before. Feelings I had accepted as part of my life without knowing why. Challenges I had to overcome. The inner home I live in now. Things clicked into place.

There was deep relief, and there was also a lot of grief. A soul design does not change across our existence. My body was holding memories that no event I can recall in this lifetime fully explains, and they were ready to be witnessed and healed.

I could write this map because I have walked through these wounds myself.
Today, I am in the descension phase, the final stabilising part, of transmuting the deepest wound I have identified so far: the Trailblazer is not meant to be fully met by Life/the Universe. This is why I can come out and share this with you now.

When I shared these reflections with some of my clients, they responded strongly, physically and emotionally. They felt seen in their depth. It landed as remembrance.
They asked me what I was going to do with the map. At the time, I did not know. I only knew it was serving something important.
Now I know.

Attached is The Trailblazer Soul: A Map Home.
One thing before you start reading: Trailblazer is a soul frequency, not a role.
It is not defined by what you do. A Trailblazer may lead an organisation, raise children full time, care for family, support others to heal or live quietly. The frequency is the same.

Please don’t read it the way you would read an article. Read it slowly. Notice what lands in your body before your mind catches up. If you don’t feel called to it, let it be. It will find the people it is meant for.

If you recognise yourself in it and would like to talk about it, I am here.
I am opening Witnessing Conversations: a space to be met in what this map stirred in you. You share what moved in you, and I listen as someone who knows this territory from the inside.

For those who read it and already know they are ready to move from recognition into living it, I have created Coming Home, a 12-week private container for that return. You will find it at the end of the map, and you are welcome to bring it into our conversation.

Thank you for witnessing what I have come to remember I am. I hope to do the same for you.

Stay connected.

With love,

Astuti

💛💜

If this transmission nourished you and you feel moved to offer a gift in return, you are welcome to: offer a gift · share this sanctuary

“May the remembrance within you bloom in perfect time”

P.S. Ready to live your true wealth? Explore Authentic Wealth Embodiment (AWE) here: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/the-authentic-wealth-embodiment-program

Click here for a free Clarity call with Astuti: https://astuti-martosudirdjo.youcanbook.me/

Go here to find out more about her self-paced online programs: https://embodiment.upliftmylife.today/

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