Redefining “balance” after series of burnouts: The journey to restart my authentic life

On the surface, things looked perfectly fine. I was a thirty-something single woman, chasing my dream in the premier business hub of Southeast Asia.

As an Indonesian, I have made small and big decisions to chase my dreams and live my life to the fullest. Since I was a kid, I believed that the only way to achieve them is to be unstoppable. It worked quite well until I experienced a series of burnouts that put me in the position of finally restarting my life and redefining “balance”. With the help of Astuti, I have started my healing journey during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

In the past 10 years, I experienced three burnouts – emotionally, mentally and physically.

I moved to two different countries for study and work and was in autopilot mode all along. I felt extremely exhausted. It was a totally devastating situation when I could not function at my highest quality. This usually followed with fatigue, demotivation, tiredness and a series of mental breakdown. 

A friend referred me to Astuti a year before I had the courage to speak with her.

As an Indonesian, I understood talking to a therapist would be equal to being abnormal because of the stigmas on mental health. I relied on my best friends, boyfriend and family. However, the situation was far from ideal.

My friends are amazing but they were mostly struggling with their thriving careers, newborns, moving into new houses or building businesses. Though they were always supportive, I could not always call them to tell them how I feel.

My relationship was on the edge because I started projecting my stress onto my boyfriend on a daily basis, accusing him of not understanding my situation and demanding more than he was capable of giving.

My parents are loving and supportive, yet they were not familiar with my situation. They offered their shoulders to cry on and gave some religious and motivational notes. I loved it all but I was not progressing and day by day it became more difficult.

I moved on from my first two burnouts by taking a break but I had never truly gotten over it.

I barely understood that there were underlying issues. After experiencing a major burnout that caused me physical pain, I decided to consult with Astuti.

I reached out to her in April 2020, just when the COVID-19 outbreak has made us permanently work from home.

She was compassionate in listening to my issues and taking into consideration that I was not easy to open up and not knowing the root cause of the problem. Fortunately, she understood my social, religious, cultural values and context as an Indonesian, and also was capable of assessing my situation and my unique past experiences.

To address the issues, we went ahead with Body Code.

During the sessions, Astuti enabled me to locate and release blocked emotions that caused pain and disease in my body. I really enjoyed the sessions because it made me understand my family system, their traumas – and mine.

The result was amazing; I am at peace, mindful and relaxed. I made exponential progress mentally, and importantly, I feel so much better physically! I did not know that diseases always start in the mind and emotions first before they manifest into physical sickness.

The months I was proceeding with my sessions, the COVID-19 situation got worse, and both of my personal and professional plans were put on delay. There were a lot of adjustments on the way we do business due to the new normal. At the same time, I had less interaction with my friends and family due to social distancing. Surprisingly, I become much calmer. I see more positive sides of the challenging situation and feel compassion with myself. 

Astuti set up coaching calls in between the first and second treatment to refine my intention and purpose.

This was a very critical moment for me and I really took my time. There was so much wisdom in those moments when I looked into my inner self and questioned all things. I researched, opened my old journals, blogs and checked my family system as well as their traumatic experiences. I eventually observed the interaction between my family and my inner monologue. One of the hardest challenges that I faced was to finally accept myself the way I am without tying that love to any external achievements. 

With a refined foundation, Astuti and I went ahead with the Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session as the second phase of the treatment. This session allowed us to deeply analyse my childhood memories and replace my limiting beliefs with positive and uplifting ones.

The result of the hypnosis and recording was above and beyond what I expected from healing. I am not only more connected to my mind, body and soul but I’m also more in tune with my intuition and essence. This also enabled me to become more conscious of my thoughts and body in order to live my life to the fullest. 

The inner journey is not over, and the healing itself is a full-time job. I am grateful that I have experienced the burnouts so that I could finally find my own truths. When we unlearn a lot of things about ourselves, we will be granted with the best gift that we are beyond what we think we are. With this new point of view, I am able to redefine balance and restart my journey with a laser focus on authenticity.

Anyone who is pursuing dreams, goals and careers or building their families, yet facing fear and roadblocks should talk to Astuti. Especially during a difficult time such as COVID-19 pandemic. She is compassionate, kind, and intuitive, yet professional and attentive. Mental health is as important as physical health and do not hesitate to seek help!

Soraya 

Germany

To hear more details about Soraya’s healing journey, listen to this podcast episode (in Indonesian/English languages)