I love you and leave you be
What is your 2024 key highlight?
The embodiment of “I love you and leave you be” is mine.
Yes, this sentence sounds paradoxical. However, its real meaning is loving fully and remaining unattached to the people, things, and ideas I love.
This sentence may sound like an on-passing sentence, but trust me, it has taken me fifty years to embody it. This is also why I decided to share my reflection with you now. Turning 50 was a big deal for me. It is a milestone, a huge one, in my life.
When one expresses this sentence from a place of fear, this comes out as an act of abandoning.
When one expresses it from a place of love, it is a statement of loving in freedom.
I am grateful that I am expressing “I love you and leave you be” from and with love now.
Claiming my sovereignty has been a central theme of my life thus far.
It’s been a consistent, continuous, and pervasive journey, one that I can feel in my bones.
The process has been anything but a straight line. Many periods are filled with dark nights of the soul, while others are filled with so much light. I have definitely experienced many breakthroughs. Love essentially wins in my life.
My process is also uniquely mine – timing, speed, and how things unfold.
I’ve been a part of many people’s journeys on the same theme, and every path has a different story on how it unfolds.
I see a similar transformation process, yet how it unfolds is so individual.
One of the biggest reasons that hold many people (including myself in the past) from fully transforming (i.e. becoming their wholesome selves, creating a life that inspires and feels true to who they are, activating their potential, being with the people that they deeply connect with and living guided by their souls) is the fear of feeling and being disconnected from the people, places, possessions, roles, responsibilities, or anything else they (believe they) love or responsible for.
The fear of losing love and belonging is real. Growing always brings along its companion—grief.
I understand that, and I’d say that many of us do not even realise we have all of these blocking us until we have a very “on our faces” trigger or are willing to have honest self-conversations about it.
We want our loved ones to grow when we grow, change when we do, and transform when it happens to us. Beyond that, we often want others to grow the way we do. Anything other than that is or feels wrong.
We prefer to grow when we have companions with whom to do this.
Fortunately, they, like us, have their free wills and destinies, too.
Whether they want to grow and how to do it are in their hands, not ours. It is not our place to decide and control these for them.
They also have their timing, speed, and process, which may look very different from ours. Many times, we are on different timelines and trajectories.
We are not factory-made beings. We are sovereign beings. We have our individual paths, with relevant and unique resources and challenges to awaken our potential.
Our healthiest position in this situation is to embody and offer others love, compassion, and acceptance – because we are all equal and born with free will and destinies; these are our divine right and blueprint.
Our responsibility is to process the fears, guilt, pain, and shame that block us from being in this healthy position. Easier said than done, I know. It can be done!
I did it, and you just need to decide to want it and commit to the work to get you there.
As we live free from fears, guilt, pain and shame, making the healthiest decisions feels more natural.
If we want to embody freedom, we must respect freedom – in ourselves and others.
This is how 2024 has been helping me – staying committed to my spiritual growth and exercising compassion and unattachment to everyone and everything else, trusting that:
- When I lose connections with some people, new ones (the type of relationships or the people themselves) will show up in my life.
- When I transmute limiting beliefs and replace them with uplifting ones, my life shifts.
- When I live authentically, I co-create much better with the Universe that the doors of possibilities I can’t even imagine open for me.
- When I love and leave others be from a place of wholeness and love in my heart, I embody the ultimate freedom.
I am excited to experience what 2025 unfolds for me!
I am happy to close 2024 in a space of peace and fulfilment. It was not smooth sailing!
There are some highlights.
This year, the Universe granted me the prayer to spend quality time with my dearest friends and family, who are spread out in many countries on three continents. It felt miraculous that I got to do that. Wonderful, loving, deep soul connections were experienced to reflect and celebrate our shared bonds and individual growth. This is so precious to me, more than anything else.
I gave birth to two additional self-paced online programs that carry the same transformative energy that was in mine – the Source’s unconditional love.
These are two of my most important creations so far, and they have helped many people transform their lives.
If you wish to grow your confidence in leading your self-transformation in 2025, any of my online programs would help.
I completed the 16 weeks of the Youth Mentoring Program with much fulfilment. This is the 3rd year of a pro-bono project I am a part of. I facilitated a transformation process for young refugee warriors (ca. 18-24 years old) to strengthen their emotional resilience through life coaching and trauma healing in virtual groups and one-to-one sessions. I am so grateful I can meet them in person for the first time in 3 years when I visited Indonesia this summer.
Lastly, my health is good.
Transformation takes a lot from my body. The intensity of 2024 in this regard creates some health worries in some parts of the year. I went through a very exhaustive period during autumn this year. Having had a burnout 16 years ago and learnt a great deal from it, I know how to take care of myself and did so with much dedication.
I hope to hear how your 2024 was and what is in your heart for 2025.
Drop me a line, please!
From the depth of my heart to yours, I wish you and your loved ones inner peace and love as 2025 starts. May the upcoming cycle bring you closer to your hearts, giving you more opportunities to enjoy fulfilment.
I love you and leave you be 😉💖🙏
Astuti
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